Scarred
by LimitsDone
Summary: A little O/S started this. A forgotten daughter and friend, Alice lives the life of a prositute before finding herself in prison. Rated M for dark themes. And Emmett lovers...enter at your own risk.
1. Chapter 1

**A/N- If it weren't for Katy, (MrsKatyCullen and MKatyCee) This wouldn't exist. Thank you for pushing me, girl. **

**And thank you for your continued support. It means a whole lot! **

**Have fun on your trip, love!**

**This story is a bit, um...er...a bit dark, but bare with me. I wholeheartedly believe in HEA's :)**

**Disclaimer: These characters belong to Stephenie Meyer. **

* * *

"Angie, you should be out there. Before he returns. He's going to go ape shit finding you here instead of out there," I said, warning her that Emmett wouldn't be happy finding his number one working girl in the house and not out working.

"I don't feel good, Alice. I've been vomiting all day," she answered, sounding really tired.

"Take some Pepto and just leave the house. Come back in a few hours and pretend things were dead."

"I did, Alice. Nothing is helping. I'm exhausted and I just want to sleep," Ang said, lying on the ratty couch crouched in a ball.

Sick or not, Emmett wasn't going to give a rat's ass about Angela sitting – or lying around his house not making him any dirty money.

I sighed loudly and pressed my hand to her forehead. "You don't have a fever, Ang. Are you…" I stopped myself before I let the words come out of my mouth.

Angela wasn't stupid enough to mess up, was she? Emmett wouldn't be happy about his top money maker and youngest piece becoming pregnant.

The look of terrifying scare was plastered on her face. "I didn't mean to, I mean, I did everything right. It must have been faulty. I don't even know yet, Alice. He keeps all the money. It's not like I have the money to even find out." She whimpered.

It was nearing two in the morning and Angela still hadn't left the couch, in her hurled u-position. I knew he would be home soon, and I had a feeling things would be taken out on me. For the most part that is how things worked.

If Emmett were unhappy with something or someone, he would take it out on me. Whether it was a brutal beating, a mental one – which was rare – or scalding hot lighters or burning cigarettes, I always took the fall.

I wouldn't say that I would be happy if it were anyone else enduring this pain, but it was emotionally draining. I was stuck though; I had nowhere else to go. After my car accident and remembering nothing from my "previous" life, I had nowhere else, no _one_ else. I had to stick it out until I could find a way out of here.

Since I wasn't allowed any of the money, nor any means to live without him, I wasn't sure how or when that time would come, but I would keep my hope. It was all I had.

I was sitting in our bedroom at the time I heard the door slam.

"Why the fuck are you just lying around doing nothing while everyone else is busting their ass you dirty little whore," he shouted to Ang, drunk as ever.

"I'm sorry, sir. I don't feel well. I'll make it up to you tomorrow," she whispered just loud enough for me to hear.

"You bet your fucking trashy ass you will. And you won't see a penny of it for a week."

I knew that now I was about to be greeted the drunken jerk, and I mentally prepared myself as much as I could.

Would he tear my clothes off and demand sexual favors? Would he burn me until I blistered and bled, or maybe slice me with his choice pocket knife? I never knew. I sat on the edge of the bed as anticipation got the best of me. My insides turned to rock as my outsides shimmered in a cold sweat. _I can handle it._ I always did.

He charged into the bedroom and slammed the door behind me without looking at me for even a second before slipping his belt off in an animal fashion and dropping his pants, and stepping out of his shoes. He ripped his ratted flannel-type top off and tossed it on the floor before coming towards me like a cougar, waiting to charge its next poor victim. I sat there still as stone, waiting for whatever was to happen.

He stood above me, whipping me once in the back with his belt. "Turn around," he demanded in a drunken slur.

I always did as he said. I wondered often what I was like before my nearly fatal accident. Was I so submissive? Did I take shit from dirty men? I would never know, or it seemed that way.

Emmett slammed his body forcefully into mine suddenly and continued his brutal motion while he occasionally tore at the skin on my shoulders, his belt wrapped around my neck in an almost deathly grip.

Just as he finished what he wanted to achieve, his body fell on top of mine. "You run these girls and I expect more of you. Don't disappoint me again. Angela just lies on the couch all fucking night, heh."

"Y-yes, sir."

His body fell off mine and he was almost immediately in a drunken, coma-like state.

I hated what this man did to me and the other girls here, too, I hated what he did, but I didn't hate him. I couldn't explain it, I didn't even understand it. Maybe I wasn't capable of hate. I didn't know. My amnesia blocked everything. As soon as he faded into his coma, I made myself as presentable as I could, running my hands through my spiky black hair and made my way back out into the living room to check on Angie.

"Are you alright, Ang?" I asked.

"Yes. I just. I just want to go home," she sobbed.

"Let's head over to the store, the twenty four hour one. We'll steal you a test." I suggested and she silently took me up on my offer, nodding once in agreement. I think she wanted to know just as well as I did. If she were pregnant, she'd either have to take care of it or get out of Emmett's as fast as she could, no looking back.

There were girls coming in at this point and we just walked past them all like it was normal for any of us to be leaving at this time of night – _morning_.

We walked to the drug store that was well over two miles away and headed straight to the feminine isle before I sneakily tucked a box into my pants and headed over to the medicines, grabbing a bottle of Pepto.

"You've got a few dollars, Ang?"

"Yes," she mumbled.

* * *

We hurried over to the gas station across the street and snuck into the restrooms that were outside of the building and I helped her read the instructions, making sure she took the test correctly.

Positive.

_Shit_.

This was either a blessing in disguise or her worst nightmare. It depending on whether or not she would toughen up and go home to her parents. It was the right thing to do regardless of her end decision. She did not belong here, living her life as a sixteen-year-old prostitute.

"You have to go home. You cannot allow him to force you into anything, Ang. You know he will, hell, he'll take care of it himself," I warned.

Men loved the idea of getting intimate with a girl barely legal. She was very pretty and in the clothes that Emmett insisted on us wearing, men couldn't resist her. One night alone, she brought Emmett back twelve hundred dollars after being out just for less than six hours.

I've tried to get her to go home. I cared for her the best I could, while trying to keep myself alive and breathing as well, but there was only so much I could do. I could have called the police, but I was far too scared of what would happen to me if I did that, he would know it was me. None of the other women were treated like me and they all got some sort of compensation.

I on the other hand had nothing. I had to sleep in his bed and service his every need as well as the other men he "assigned" me too. He took every penny like he owned me. I was a leashed dog without a way out...yet.

"I know, Alice," she answered back after a few moments. "But my parents. They probably hate me by now. Or think I'm dead."

"Angie. Go home, they love you no matter what. You do not want him to find out. You don't want him to make the decision for you. You need to be able to live your life...go back to school and make something of yourself. This is not the life for you, it's not the life for any of us."

I tried to get her to understand. I was pleading with her to make the right decision. She had to go home. Even if home wasn't the right place, she needed to go somewhere safe. Whether that be a woman's shelter, or back to her parents, she needed out of this lifestyle.

We returned to the slum house just before four in the morning, everyone sleeping tucked in their stained beds and cockroach-filled rooms. I peeked into mine and found Emmett in the same position as when I had left and felt instantly relieved. I climbed into bed as quietly and as slowly as possible so that I wouldn't wake him. I didn't need another lashing tonight.

I silently sobbed myself to sleep, wishing I'd remember something, anything, like I had every night the entire time I'd been here. And like every night, I didn't sleep. Most of my sleep came during the light hours, when I knew that Emmett would be at the bar, before coming home and seeing the girls off.

His snore was disgusting; it was wet sounding and non-rhythmic. It made me want to crawl out of my skin. I sat up to look at the man that had controlled my life for so long and noticed something shiny glaring from the floor. His gun was sitting in his cheap holster, lying on top of his jeans.

It was in the moment that I knew what I would eventually do if I had no way out. I wasn't sure if I'd be able to kill a man, though, but deep down I was almost cetrain I'd be able to kill him.

_If _I had no other options.

I must have drifted off right as the sun was rising, only sleeping maybe twenty minutes. What I woke to was the end of a searing hot hammer claw shoved right against the crook of my collarbone. The pain was unbearable, but I had to take it, if I didn't, he'd find something else to torture me with.

"Where did you run off to in the middle of the night, bitch? I let you lie in my bed and you think you can just take off whenever the fuck you feel like it," he sneered.

"Uh...uh...I'm sorry. Angela needed tampons, sir. The house was empty of them," I said through the horrific pain of the knife-slicing burn of the hammer.

"Next time she, or anyone else uses toilet paper at that time. Got it?" he shouted.

I nodded my head in understanding.

"'Scuse me?"

"Yes, I understand," I answered aloud.

* * *

I was Emmett's _Queen_, of sorts.

However, I wasn't treated much like one. He owned me, my body and the few things I had. I guess I was the unfortunate one that had to deal with all of him. If he was angry with someone else, I got the wrath of it. On the rare instances he was happy, I got more wrath, though it rarely included my physical pain, unless of course you considered rough sex physical pain. I found that that was more of an emotional pain. I did my best to survive anything that came my way.

I distinctly remember the time that Emmett came home from the casino, winning a large amount of money. He took me into his bedroom and treated me like I was his servant. I fed him chocolate and Johnny Black Label until he was obliterated and he had his way with me. That night in particular was devastatingly hard for me. I think anytime that Emmett was in one of his good moods was actually harder to deal with – if he came home sober, things were okay, but coming home in a good mood always led to top shelf liquor and a very drunk man soon after.

I did give myself some credit occasionally, when I remembered. I had to be strong in order to survive this place and I had to survive if I ever wanted to see a life outside of this nightmare...someday, eventually.

* * *

I had successfully talked Angela into getting on the train to go back home and when I got back, I saw Emmett sitting outside in the front yard. He was poking around in his makeshift fire pit in the front yard. He looked bullshit.

"Where the fuck you been? And where is Angie?" he asked in a drunken snarl. "You two have a lot of balls. Go to bed."

I didn't answer, instead choosing to do as he instructed and wait for what would come. It wouldn't be good. I knew that.

I sat on the end of the bed wearing a large T-shirt and the only pair of jeans I had that fit me. My flip flops were no longer white, but a dingy green-brown color from being worn often, while not out working.

Emmett didn't work me as much as he did the other girls, but I wished he had. If I were working more, I wouldn't be his little pet. I wouldn't be around nearly enough for him to beat me, punish me or put me through the pain I suffered almost daily.

I distinctly remembered the time that I made him fried eggs assuming they would be fine since he hadn't specified a certain kind. I couldn't have been more wrong. He was furious, he had wanted pouched. He took the hot frying pan and slammed me over the head with it before placing it onto my lower back, causing my skin to burn.

Him playing with fire outside scared me; his poker would most likely be my next punishment. I had a gut feeling he knew Angela wouldn't be back, and if that were the case, he also knew that I had a major role in her leaving.

After all, I had managed to get Jessica out of here only a few months ago. That led to me being handcuffed to the floor, arms strung up on the closet doorknob while Emmett kicked the shit out of me until I was bleeding and unconscious. I remember waking up slung to the doorknob with my head pounding. He had left me there for hours.

I must not have been anyone of importance since I had no relatives or friends claiming me after my accident, so I had nowhere to go, but if I died trying to give the other girls in this house a way out, then I would die doing the right thing. Half of them were far too young, even younger than I was, and prostituting themselves was hardly a lifestyle anyone should be living.

I'm surprised I wasn't dead by now.

I stared at the floor, waiting for Emmett to come out, watching as a stray cockroach made its way across the floor and to the wall, climbing up and making its way to the crook between the windowsills.

The gun I had seen last night kept haunting my mind. I thought about the ways I would get a hold of it. I thought about the many ways I could injure him, or even kill him. They were disgusting thoughts and so unlike the person I was now…or maybe always was. I was the mother hen here, or I tried to be, even when a few of the girls here were far older than I was. Most of them though, weren't ever bothered. They came and went as they pleased and only had to worry about handing over the money they'd earned that night to Emmett.

I heard the front door open and slam shut and I braced myself for it. Whatever was about to happen.

He came into his room with his stick still glowing red from the fire and didn't even think before he whipped me in the neck with it. He slashed my neck a good four times before mumbling a few non-legible words. Then he struck me in the head.

"Why would you keep your hair all fucking spiky? You look like a fucking circus performer." _Whip._

"Where is she? Where is Angie?" _Thwap._

"You fucking bitch! Answer me, Damnit!" _Smack._

"Emmett, sir. Angela got into some trouble. She had to leave." I didn't want to say too much, but I knew he wasn't going to chase her down.

I tried to hold back my tears. I was usually very good at that, but sometimes a stray tear would slip and cause Emmett to continue. I was burning and stinging and the hard hits were echoing throughout my entire body.

This time was _hard_.

With each raise of his large hand, I could feel myself fight my body from quaking and cowering. Each time he spoke words, I could feel myself shiver from not knowing what would come next, only able to guess; I was usually right for the most part.

"It's still early. Get your skanky little ass out there tonight and bring me some fucking money," he demanded.

I scurried around the room to put something more appropriate for the job on and was out of the house in barely five minutes.

I was picked up almost immediately and the man headed straight for the slummy hotel that was a few blocks away.

The man was dressed in casual clothes. A pair of black slacks, matched with a white collared button-down. I glanced toward his left hand. Married.

I hated finding wedding bands on the hands of the men I worked for, I felt bad for their wives that were probably working their butts off with preparing tomorrows dinner as she tucked in their children and read them bedtime stories. Yet, their husbands were out messing around with prostitutes that may or may not be carrying some sort of disease that they would bring back to their families.

Emmett never allowed any of us to go to the doctor, so none of really ever knew if a slip up caused us to be burdened with a sexually transmitted disease. I was always as careful as I possibly could be.

The man asked me to take my clothes off and when he laid eyes on my naked body, he asked that I re-dress. My scars and new burns and bruises must have disgusted him. He brought me back to where he had picked me up and wished me well in a rushed sort of way.

If I didn't bring Emmett home some kind of money tonight he might actually kill me this time.

I stood in the entrance against a brick wall to a rundown empty building of an alley way awaiting some sort of business, hoping that something would come soon.

Maybe twenty minutes later, a beaten Honda came to a stop in front of me sneering nasty comments and asking me for services in demeaning ways. I couldn't pass them up though.

There were two boyish men, maybe in there early twenties and they asked only for head. I obliged and soon went home with a measly seventy dollars. It wasn't going to make Emmett happy.

I headed straight for the bedroom, counting the rapid beating of my heart and opened the door. I found him fiddling around with his gun that I had just recently learned he had before he popped his head up and held out his hand.

"Money," he demanded.

"Emmett, it was slow tonight. The one man I thought I scored told me to redress after seeing my bruises and burns." I spoke quietly, ashamed and scared that it would flare his temper.

And it did.

"Seventy fucking dollars? What the fuck is this shit, Alice? Get on the bed and don't move until I tell you to."

I lay there on the bed for what felt like hours, waiting what was to come next. It was late and I was mentally and emotionally tired, the day finally taking its toll on me.

The mental lashing and the physical and brutal punishments were really beginning to get fiercely old, and I was sure I wouldn't be able to take much more of it.

Emmett must have fallen asleep on his trusty recliner in the living room in a drunken state, completely neglecting me and my nights lashing, so I allowed myself to try and get some rest while I could.

* * *

"Wake the fuck up."

His voice vibrated through my body. He was hovering over me with a rusty old and blackened butcher knife. I sat up quickly before he told me to remove the skimpy tank top I had worn last night.

The knife's tip came down on my collarbone and he sliced quickly downwards, letting the blade come off me right before reaching my nipple. The metal was fire hot and I imagined that's why it had been blackened. He slashed me twice more, once from the end of my neck and towards my shoulder and again across his first slash, letting the kitchen tool linger to allow me to feel the scalding hotness of the metal.

I kept it together, but I strongly believed that I wouldn't be able to withstand any more pain from this man for much longer. Even if I had to take my own life, I would have a way out. It wasn't like anyone would miss me anyway.

When he left, I rushed over to the pile of dirty laundry and tried wiping away the blood as gently as possible, trying to avoid worsening the pain. All I was able to do was smear the blood, causing me to look like I'd just slaughtered a pig.

I tiptoed to the bathroom with the cleanest article of clothing I could find in the laundry and wet it, washing my fresh wounds carefully while wondering why Emmett chose me to batter constantly.

When I was clean enough and the bleeding stopped, I quickly and quietly returned to the bedroom and let myself sleep. There wasn't much else to do and he wouldn't be home until dark.

* * *

I woke up just as the sun was setting, shivering from the nightmares that played over in my head every time I fell asleep. Sometimes they were of random cars crashing and catching fire, others they were of Emmett brutally beating, burning, and slashing me. They weren't ever the same, and I'd never dreamed something that had already happened.

One of my dreams reoccurred and haunted me at least once a week, and that was saying a lot, with the little sleep I got.

A woman with beautifully wavy, long, brilliant blond hair and under the blood that covered the left side of her was a face straight off the runway. Her eyes sparkled an ocean blue and her rosy lips were full and perfect. She was perfect.

Her body lay next to me on its left side as if we were the sign of Pisces, two fish lying together in a circle, just waiting to die. We stared into each others eyes for as long as it took me to wake up. I always wondered if she was an aunt, possibly my mother, but I never had the dream until I moved here, to this stenchy, bug-ridden whorehouse. I never had the chance to ask anyone.

I heard the door slam shut and knew he'd returned from letting his steam release after the fire I'd caused last night. I quivered internally and sat up quickly; if he thought I got any rest at all after his torture he would believe it wasn't enough and it would cause another attack.

I wiped the sleep out of my eyes as I heard him trudge towards the bathroom and took in a few deep wakening breaths.

"Alice!" I heard shout from the bathroom. "Get our ass dressed and out of my house and do not come back until you've got some money for me!"

It was a bit disgusting to think that I was actually relieved to hear him say that, but because of the other things I would normally be doing, I was glad to be getting out of this place. Even if I wasn't able to pull off making money until much later, I'd gladly hide in a few tress all day until the sun set and the moon rose.

I dug through the pile of clothing trying to find something day-wearable, yet something that would translate to whore-worthy later at night. _I hate my life. If I killed him…_

I wound up in a wrinkled sequenced tank and a denim skirt with a small hole right under the ass in the back. I tossed on a pair of Angela's small-heeled peep toes she left behind and scurried out of the house as quickly as I could.

I had no money and nowhere to go. Whenever this kind of thing happened, as rare as it was, since Emmett liked to keep me on a short leash, I would walk as quickly as possible to the small park about a mile away that was lined with trees in the back that led to a small stream.

It was early enough that the streets were nearly clear from any walking passer bys or cars and I was glad that people wouldn't be staring today thinking, "That poor girl, or what the hell happened to her, or should we call the police?" It made me feel sick and twisted to be looked at that way.

I found my rock at the edge of the stream that was behind the trees and sat down, taking off my shoes and dipping my feet in the cool water before bending down and scooping some water up into my palms to splash on my face. The water had to have been as crystal clear here as it was in a beautiful spring I imagined.

I took my top off carefully and shimmied out of my shirt before slowly bending my legs to sit in the water. It wasn't deep, in sitting position it rose just under my navel. I sat there long enough to adjust to the temperature and I gently massaged my legs before lying down on my back and letting the shock of the water relax me into my state of quiet peace.

The water stung my fresh burns and slashes for a few moments until they adjusted and accepted the tender touch of the water as well.

This stream always made me feel like I was in my own personal therapy spa. The sound of the water rushing by my ears was like a white noise that relaxed me, the feel of the water skimming past my body was nice and light…gentle, and I thought of it as the feeling of love. I felt as though the water and this stream did love me, it never once let me down and it never hurt me.

I let my body linger in the water until the tips of my fingers pruned and my toes started to go a little numb before getting out. I sat on my flat rock long enough to let the excess water drip off my body and dry enough to redress.

Kids would make their way down here later on in the day, so I'd always make sure to be gone before them and their parents happily skipped down to the beautiful, quaint stream to enjoy it - hopefully as much as I did.

I shimmied my still dampened feet into my shoes and walked off, deeper into the trees until I found a small clearing before sitting down in an upwards fetal position against a dry tree. I held tightly onto my legs and tucked my head between my knees and my chest, before settling still.

_I was back there, the woman and me; this time, a car behind her, and I could faintly hear the frantic shouts of a man calling for someone or something. My ears were muffled and my voice was missing, I felt helpless and I couldn't move. _

_The car was blue and sat on its side, the windows were shattered and the passenger's side door was open, lifted towards the sky that splattered us, and the darkened road with water that felt like pellets of ice smashing into my limp body._

"_Rose, baby! Where are you?" I heard more clearly this time. I wasn't sure, but I felt like I knew his voice. I then saw two large boots come up behind her and scoop her up into his arms, her blood covering the ground she had once lied on. I couldn't lift my head to see his face, but I tried to beg for help, beg him to call for someone, anyone to help me, too. _

_I couldn't remember who I was with, where I was going, or even who I was._

I woke up suddenly from the shaken dream, feeling like something about that dream was a revelation of sorts, but something wasn't right, something was very wrong.

My hands hugged more tightly onto my legs and I rocked my body against my own accord while I waited for the sun to set.

Not being able to shake the odd feeling my dream gave me, I let my hands fall from their protective hold and I rose to my feet and wondered the forest, trying not to memorize every part of the new parts of my dream I could.

"Emmett?" I gasped out loud. I tried to remember what he wore on his feet and how big they were, the hands that lifted the limp woman up off the wet pavement and imagine them being his.

It would make a whole lot of sense if that woman I lay next to after a horrific car accident was his wife or his girlfriend, maybe even his sister? It would put a piece in the puzzle of my life in his house, him seeking me out and making my life a living hell for killing her, whoever she was.

I wouldn't "work" tonight, instead I would go back his house and examine the situation, even if it ended up in more torture. I needed to know, and if it was him…would I be able to help him or myself? Apologize for something I knew next to nothing about? I highly doubted that.

Emmett was a mean man; I'd never once seen him show any kind of kindness, remorse, hope, love, fondness, or even a simple likeness towards anyone. If I were to confront him, I could only picture it making things worse, possibly causing him to beat me to death at that point. Maybe my not remembering was saving my life, as shitty as my life was.

Right then, I decided I wanted a better one, a life one would want to live. A life someone could look back and remember, remember anything. Happy memories, sad ones, memories or turmoil and grief, and memories of love and respect. I was going to get out of there and I was getting out tonight.

I'd have to wait for the perfect time, but my life was about to move onto the other side of the road, one that wouldn't be pretty, but it would certainly hold much more than the one I was suffering now.

Emmett McCarty was going to die tonight, under my hands and my watch. I was going to shoot him and watch him as he bled out and make sure I saw each and every breath until his last one for putting me through all of the trauma he had.

I walked the streets for a good while before I would return to Emmett with nothing.


	2. Chapter 2

**AN- Thank you, Kate, MrsKatyCee, I love you. And you know it**

**Disclaimer: Not Mine.**

* * *

I sat on a curb, in an empty run down lot after walking for a bit. Behind me sat a bunch of old run down mills that I imagined had once built machinery. That's what they looked like to me, anyway.

The street was quiet, cars passing by only few and far between, and when one would speed by, I'd jump just a little and small goose bumps would rise on my lower arms, the small hairs on my neck that blew slightly in the breeze would stand tall.

It was a fairly dark lot; I was sure no one could see me unless they looked carefully, but I'm sure that I was a little freaked out about what I would be doing later on in the night.

In the few hours I'd been sitting here, I'd thought about many things.

What Emmett might have been like when he was younger? If he was ever a decent man or boy and what had happened to him to become who he is today. Maybe he was an abused child, or maybe he didn't have a family and grew up in the system.

A system that could have possibly been just as bad as the place he now owned. Though, I could be pretty certain there were no working girls and no punishments that would cause bleeding and bruising. I couldn't wrap my head around a children's home that would slice children with knifes, burn them with glowing fire pokers or twelve-year-old hookers.

So in all reality, it couldn't be that at all.

Maybe abusive parents.

I could go repeatedly with myself about how and why Emmett became the man he is today, but did any of that really matter to me? Not really. He'd caused enough pain for me, and I'm sure enough for the other girls as well, even though they'd been spared most of it, for me to really care at all.

I tossed a few pebbles that I'd been rolling under my shoes through the echoing parking lot trying to think what time it could be. I needed to wait until Emmett was in a drunk-induced coma before I even dared walk into his house.

Tonight, I knew he'd be waiting for me with little to no patience and because of this, he'd also be drinking himself into oblivion. Probably a bit slower than lately.

I noticed a few kids walk on the other side of the empty lot throughout the night and figured they were having some sort of party behind the mills. Before I went home, or whatever a place like that should be dubbed, I'd walk to where they had all headed and see if one of them had the time.

I let my head fall onto my knees and took a deep realizing breath before standing up and stretching my body out of its sitting position that it'd been in for most of the day.

I slowly made my way across the lot quietly and followed the slim overgrown with weeds and small trees path that ran alongside the building and quietly peeked around the corner.

There was a small fire and about ten or so kids sitting around it with beer cans.

I cleared my throat.

They all looked up at me and took in my appearance.

"Who ordered the whore?" one of them boomed out.

"Not me, Joe! If she were hired by me, she wouldn't look like…_that_!"

I slumped my shoulders and looked down immediately.

"Uh, do any of you have the time?" I asked quietly, shaking a little from embarrassment and shame.

"Like midnight, hoe!" another one piped up.

"Thank you," I said, turning away quickly and making my way out of their little humiliation party.

I tripped on a vine on the way out, scuffing up my knee and palms a little, but got up quickly and headed to the gas station to use the bathroom before I would slowly head home. By then, Emmett should be slumped over sleeping heavily on the couch or in his recliner.

I slipped into the bathroom and splashed water over my face, trying to regroup before I was about to do something extremely risky. Risky – no, something completely illegal. I knew I would probably be thrown in prison, regardless, but it was a small price to pay. I'd gladly be stuck in a prison for the rest of my life even, before I would allow myself and the other girls to live like this for a moment longer than they needed to.

Prison would definitely be a much better place to live. The pros of following through with my plans heavily outweighed the cons.

I sat down on the dirty toilet seat, ran my fingers through my newly named clown hair, and tried to get my composure. I wasn't a murdered, I could feel it in my heart, but there was no way I was going to back down from this one.

I stood up after a few minutes and damped my face again with cool water before I started my slow walk home.

The streets were quiet tonight. Few cars had driven by me and not once did one stop to see if I was _working_ tonight. It was eerily odd. It was as if they knew I had somewhere to be and something to take care of.

There wasn't a single person that had passed me on the sidewalks yet and it was strangely quiet of people. The silence of the night had caused my feet to numb up a little and my hands to tremble alongside my quickening pulse as I became fully aware of what I was about to do. It was getting close.

I kept the memories of all the pain and damage he'd caused me. The brutal beatings and the rough sex. The burnings and the way he used me as the trash stuck to the bottom of his boots.

His boots. I forgot about the one thing I needed to do before I finished what I was going home to do. I needed to examine his boots and his hands. I'd forget about the voice. There was no way I would wake him just to hear his voice. It wouldn't be the same anyway.

The man's voice was frantic over this Rose being hurt after the accident. I wouldn't be able to elicit a franticness out of him. I'd only emerge anger from Emmett. It was all I've ever gotten out of him.

I could see my destination now. The small shanty house that sat across the street, set back a few feet from the sidewalk. It was dark inside, aside from the living room TV. The girls were still out or in their rooms by now and I was right. He must have been up waiting for me. Making up from my previous night's skimpy seventy dollars.

I prayed he would be sleeping. I prayed hard and silently.

I bent down to slip off my shoes and walked soundlessly across the street, made my way to the side storm door and opened it just enough that my body would fit through. I adjusted the hinge so the door would stay open and not wake anyone when it slung back shut.

I placed my shoes on the floor and tip toed into the kitchen to get to my bedroom. His pants were lying in the same place they always had, but the gun was not visible. I quickly went through his pockets and finally found it lying right on the floor under his jeans.

I seated myself on the edge of the bed and rocked my body back and forth – a desperate attempt to relax my breathing.

I had to do this now. No more waiting. This was it. This was the time. No going back.

I tiptoed out of the bedroom and made my way to the front room.

And there he was. Slumped over in his trusty recliner, a bottle of Jack in his right hand, his snoring the same as always.

I glanced down and immediately recognized his boots. The hand that was wrapped around the liquor were almost an exact match, but the hands were now tired and beat down from abuse.

It was him.

But who was she? Who was Rose?

I couldn't care, not now. Maybe later I'd ask an official, but I couldn't care now. There was no way anything was going to guilt me out of killing the man that had caused me so much torture and pain.

I pulled back on the guns hammer slowly, so that the clicking wouldn't startle Emmett awake. My hands shook with anticipation and I could feel tiny beads of sweat forming on my temples. My breathing became ragged and sharp.

I could faintly hear someone breathing behind me, but I didn't let that halter my decision. I was going to do this with or without an audience. Nothing would stop me.

With the trigger firmly tucked into my index finger, I aimed the gun directly towards the middle of his chest. I'd never shot a gun, so I was sure that if it went up or down or left to right, I'd hit somewhere that would be fatal.

I closed my eyes and with all of the energy I could muster up from my tired body, I grasped that trigger harder and I pulled. I pulled back and just sit there still for a moment.

I opened my eyes and watched a bunch of things happening.

First, there was blood splattered all over the recliner and covering Emmett's entire white shirt. Then the girls. There were a lot of them home, they were all gasping and staring at me. None though, ever went to his side, nobody checked on him.

While I wanted all the girls start pacing the room, I felt my lips turn into a small grin. I stood still and just waited now. There was nothing else to do. I was waiting for my next fate to come and take me. And I was waiting happily for it. Anywhere would be better here.

Anywhere.

It didn't take long at all before the place was covered in police, some of them fully armored. The gun still slung on my right side in my hand loosely, so they didn't have to ask many questions. The other girls eventually were called into the other rooms for questioning and I was handcuffed almost immediately. Two officers held me by my arms forcefully and I watched as a few other officers tried caring for Emmett, still sitting in his chair. I couldn't take my eyes off him – I was still grinning.

I couldn't help it. I truly believe it was the smartest thing I had ever done and I didn't just do it for myself. I was looking out for all of these girls. Even if this was what they'd do for the rest of their lives, I could guarantee that Emmett was one of a kind. There lives would be much, much better without him in it.

I felt no regret, no remorse, and no sorrow. I felt at peace.

Soon, the two officers had jerked me towards the door and then led me to a police cruiser and directed me into the backseat.

The seats were a really tacky, bright blue and there were bars separated the backseat and front seats. The smell wasn't fantastic, but it was certainly welcomed. It was a dusty kind of smell, not a dirty one. There were no door handles and no way to roll the windows down.

It was still dark outside, and people must have followed the noise of the sirens to our house because the small side street was now lined by crowds of worried people, instead of just trees and unkempt bushes. A lot of them would stare at me for a minute or two, cover their dropping mouths and then look away.

About ten minutes later, a female officer walked out of the house and jumped into the front seat, starting the car and pulling out her CB, letting other people behind the speaker know that she'd be bringing me in and would need another female officer's assistance.

She spoke no words – only glanced through her rear view mirror a few times. When we got to the station, the other officer was waiting as we pulled around out back. Both of them helped me out of the car with rough hands, led me down a set of stairs and asked me to undress.

I obliged and did the best I could with the cuffs still on to get my shirt off.

They realized quickly that they were still on and took them off without a word.

When I got my top off I heard them both gasp; but I didn't turn around – they would have seen much worse.

I then dropped my skirt and panties.

"Lean your head back please and shake your hair."

I did as they asked, not exactly sure why they wanted me to do that.

"Turn around now, please."

I sighed, knowing they would gasp again.

I turned slowly and I was right. They saw my scars, my healing burns and gashes, and all of the bruises and dried scabby blood that had been still bleeding after my attempt to clean it off.

Their eyes were filled with sadness but their voices still stern.

They both pointed to my left. "Shower," one said.

The warm water felt nice, and even without the aids of soap and shampoo, it was the best thing I'd felt aside from the icy cold stream for as long as I could remember.

When I got out, they handed me a small white towel, brown flip-flops, and a blue pair of scrubs. They re-cuffed me and took me down a small hallway and into a cell that was all by itself. They un-cuffed me and left, slamming the door behind them.

It wasn't anything I imagined. There was a small cot with a thin mattress, and a small metal sink next to a toilet. There weren't even any bars. I had a normal door with a small sliding glass window.

No longer after noticing the window, it slid open.

"Something to eat and read. Not sure when you'll be transferred," a man's voice called out before walking away quickly after shutting the window.

On the tray sat an apple, a small container of juice, a carton of milk, and a sandwich. I smiled at my food.

I couldn't remember when the last time I got something to eat that was like this. I inhaled the sandwich so quick I was so scared it would come back up.

Not knowing when I'd get more food, and actually already feeling full, I opted to leave the juice and apple for later, and I placed the tray on the floor next to my cot and laid down. I had been exhausted for far too long.

I must have been sleeping before my head even met the plastic blue pillow.

I was startled awake by the sounds of keys opening my door and I immediately jumped up into a sitting position, forgetting that Emmett couldn't hurt me anymore.

I was re-cuffed and put in shackles, and taken back up the way we had come down, and led outside into a big van. When I got in, there were two men and one older woman inside, handcuffed and shackled. I sat down on one of the benches, rested my head against the van's side, and closed my eyes. I didn't feel very comfortable with them.

I hummed quiet nonsense the entire long ride there. When we stopped, they let the two men off, but the other woman and I stayed on and we continued our ride.

It must have been a couple of hours before we got to our destination and were getting out of the van and brought into another facility. This particular place was a prison. There were chain link fences lined with barbed wire, metal picnic tables and I could faintly catch glimpse of a basketball hoops before we were rushed through two sets of doors.

There was a long bright corridor that led to another door and when we were through, we were brought to a room to undress together. We showered, like before and then given white jumpsuits instead of the scrubs we came in wearing.

They processed our paperwork and then we left separately with two different guards.

I was brought into a cell that held a bunk bed and a single bed, but the room was empty. I was grateful for that, because I wasn't sure what kind of girls I'd be sharing this room with and I'd be lying to myself if I wasn't a bit scared about being in prison with a bunch of women that had been here for things that were scary and illegal. Not that I had the right, but it was still pretty nerve-wracking.

The guard handed me a set of sheets, a pillow and three clean jumpsuits and walked away, leaving the door open.

I found the empty bed and put my sheet on it, throwing my pillow on top and finding a trunk underneath the lower bunk to put my clothes in.

I lie down on my bunk and started up at the rusted metal frame that held my roommate's bunk above mine and drifted off to sleep.

I got out of the shower, stood in front of the dirty, and fogged up mirror made of Plexiglas; the reflection making the scars covering my arms and neck look even uglier. Girls were busying themselves throughout the community shower room while I stood there, still as stone.

Only twenty years old and I'd been sentenced to nine years for killing the man that caused all of the white scar tissue on my small body. A man that had damaged me not only where you could clearly see, but had made me feel ruined and broken on the inside as well.

I was young and stupid, but I had no one else. He was familiar and had given me a place to rest my head.

I'd killed the man that took me in when I was seventeen, after I'd been in some sort of car accident, killing both my parents and left me with a case of Lacunar amnesia, or what most people would understand, selective amnesia.

I had forgotten about the car accident and whether I had any other family. The police and doctors assumed I didn't since there were news stories on the TV and in the papers for weeks and no one had come forward to claim me. Not as a niece, a sister; hell, not even as a friend.

This was the man that I had once believed and trusted. He'd called me his _queen_, the honor lasted only a few weeks. I quickly learned that the only thing that was different from being his queen and being one of his whores was that I would get to sleep in his bed. I would get to endure occasional nights of his sweaty, dirty body hovering over me, and sometimes when I'd tried to fight my way out of it, scalding hot knives.

I was just a toy for him to play with. He owned me and if I hadn't functioned the way he demanded, I'd be punished.

They had placed me in a home and I would have to stay there until my eighteenth birthday. I was able to handle that for all of about two weeks before I had fled, finding Emmett in a small, empty alley. He took me in as his own and I had appreciated him helping me, until I realized his intentions.

I hadn't spoken much since I'd been incarcerated and because of this, they assigned a psychologist to me. Great, right?

I'd get to meet my new shrink today. I'd let her analyze me and write in her little notepad. Whatever made these people _happy_.

I was escorted by two correctional officers to the place I'd be meeting my new shrink. I briefly wondered what she'd look like. Would she be your plain Jane or would she be some knockout that thought I was just some crazy chick that killed her pimp?

When we got to the box sized office, I noticed that neither of my thoughts were even remotely close to being right. They nudged me inside, shutting and locking the door from the outside.

The man looked up at me, giving me a small smile and a quiet, "Hello, Alice."

In a prison filled with females—prisoners, correctional officers and guards—you'd think that any man would cause a stir. I hadn't heard much of anything about this man. Maybe he was an ass or maybe there were too few prisoners that see him. Prisoners like me who spoke too little to have mentioned just how beautiful this man was.

"Please, have a seat." He calmly spoke as he motioned me to the small, cushioned seat that sat in front of his desk.

I plopped down into a worn, orange seat and threw my feet up onto his desk while I took in his appearance.

His light, sun kissed hair fell in waves below his ears, a few stray pieces dangled in front of his eyes; his frame wasn't large, but he wasn't a small man; he was proportionate. His eyes sparkled a beautiful shade of crystal blue that gave me an odd sense of safety.

He dressed casually in a navy blue polo, choosing to leave the top button free. The leather band of his watch was well worn, and I wondered if it had been handed down to him or if someone special gave it to him years ago. Above the watch was a brown, braided leather bracelet. On his pinky finger, he wore a ring that had some sort of large crest or dark jewel on it.

This man intrigued me and I still had no idea what his name was. He'd only spoken a couple words to me and I suddenly felt the urge to speak.

"I killed the man that sold me for sex," I blurted out and immediately let my gaze drop to the bottom of the desk where I could see his sneakers. A psychiatrist that wore sneakers? Black and white Chucks that were well-worn to be exact.

The doctor had not spoken anything in the few minutes that had passed after I'd spoken so I peeked up at him. He sat there, keeping eye contact with me.

"My name is Dr. Whitlock, Alice. But I'd prefer it if you just call me Jasper." Pausing to glance back at the file in front of him, he then looked back up. "I'd like to start at the beginning, after your accident maybe?"


	3. Chapter 3

**A/N- Love and thanks to Kate, my everything. No. Really.**

**This is early because of a fuck up I had posting last chapter. **

**Some of you might have caught it.**

***hangs head in shame***

**Disclaimer: Not mine.**

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He was giving me a choice. That was something I wasn't used to.

I decided right then and there that I liked Dr. Whitlock…_Jasper_, and I'd make the most of the time I'd spend with him each week.

"Well, I don't really remember anything before my accident…Jasper."

I fiddled with my fingers for a moment.

"After the accident I ended up in a home. No one called for me. I guess we didn't have any other family – my parents and I, I mean," I said sadly.

I looked up through my eyelashes, Jasper's eyes still on me.

"I'm sorry to hear that, Alice," Jasper admitted softly, pausing. "Do you remember your parents at all?" he asked with a tinge of heartache in his voice.

"No, not really. I had a picture, but I lost it along the way."

I quickly remembered the picture I carried in my pocket before the last skirt I wore was stolen. I stood up behind a man and woman, my parents. My dad – a big burly man, sitting next to my mom, small like me with curly red hair. I always wondered if it were dyed because my dad had light hair.

"I can remember what they look like from that, but nothing else. I used to dream memories, but I think that's all they were. Just silly dreams," I admitted.

It seemed easy, almost without effort, talking to Jasper. I'd said more to him than I've said to anyone in the time I'd spent here in prison.

"There's really no way to tell if they're _not _memories, Alice." Jasper's hand swept through his hair before continuing." They very well could be. How about the accident? Do you have any recollection of that?"

I really didn't remember the crash. I only had what I thought to be memories since waking up, lying in the street. I guess now was as good as a time as any to find out if they had been real memories.

"I remember waking up. And I think I remember some things after that, but I'm not sure if they were real."

"Tell me about them. Maybe I can help."

I lowered my feet from Jasper's desk and sat still while I twirled a loose piece of orange thread on the arm of the chair. I wasn't sure if I wanted to know what I remembered was real. I also wasn't sure if I wanted to know that I made up these things in my head. It felt like a lose/lose situation.

"Alice, you can talk to me. About anything," Jasper pushed after a few minutes of silent thought.

"Well, I remember a woman lying in the road next to me. She was bleeding. She was beautiful," I shared.

"She wasn't your mother?" he asked bluntly.

"No…this woman was tall and thin…and young. Her hair was blonde. In the picture of my parents, my mother was short like me, had red hair. And she was petite – like me."

I thought for a moment before continuing, "A man, he picked her up off of the road before I closed my eyes again. The next time I opened my eyes I was in a hospital bed."

Jasper nodded his head, but didn't say anything in return. I shrugged my shoulders and drooped further down into the seat. I felt like a weight was lifted off me. I'd never mentioned anything before my life at Emmett's until now.

Before either of us could break the silence, the guards had knocked on the door, signaling that our time had been up.

Jasper stood up and held out his hand. "Well Alice, it was very nice to meet you. I can see you again?"

I took his hand in mine, and returned the handshake. "Nice to meet you, too, Jasper." I nodded my head and turned for the door.

Time passed as quickly as one could expect while being in jail. Things were the same day in and day out.

Up at five in the morning, breakfast in our cells at seven. We'd have rec, and then lunch at noon. Sometimes we'd be allowed out in the courtyard to get some fresh air, and if you were one of the lucky inmates, you'd have some visitors in the afternoon. Dinner was served at six in the chow hall, and then we'd all sit in the TV room for a while before lights out at ten.

It happened the same exact way almost every day. Unless of course you got yourself in trouble and ended up in confinement or we were on lockdown, which didn't happen often. I was pretty quiet and always seemed to avoid fights, never finding out what it looked like in the hole.

Soon enough and after a couple sessions with Jasper, some of the old me started to come back and I started talking to my cellmates. It was nice to have some conversation with the other girls. Keeping to yourself all the time was boring and depressing.

Jane also had no family; they all chose to disown her after she'd been sentenced. I didn't know what she was in the here for and chose not to ask her. She never talked about it and I was okay with that.

Bree was one of the girls that would be in and out in the matter of a month. This time, she was stuck here for eighteen months. She had slashed her boyfriend's tires and already had a bunch of warrants out on her when they arrested her. Her mother and brother, Riley, would visit occasionally.

She shared a cell with us almost every time she came back. She wasn't usually ever out long enough for them to assign a new prisoner to our cell. If I remember correctly, the longest time she had been away for was eighteen days. It was always the most ridiculous reasons to be sentenced to time, but she just couldn't stay out of trouble. She was a spitfire when it came to the law.

Both Jane and Bree were fairly young, and I was glad that I was bunking with them. Some of the other inmates were downright scary. We clicked quickly as soon as I started opening up and speaking to them.

It was actually stupid for me to have waited so long. They weren't very different from me and I could see myself befriending them outside in the real world.

After dinner was served, I made my way back to my cell, opting out of another dumb reality show and lied down on my bed. My thoughts drifted quickly to Jasper and when I'd see him next.

Since I'd been meeting with Jasper twice a week, I started to see a difference in my attitude. Of course, a prisoner's attitude could only be as good as mine; we were all here for one reason, most of the incarcerated were being held captive and away from their loved ones and friends. I didn't have anyone on the outside…but I had Jasper here and I was okay with that.

If I were being honest with myself, I could definitely tell that my feelings for him were quickly growing stronger. Possibly nearing a dangerous slope, even. I couldn't imagine myself looking at anyone else the way I found myself looking at him. The way I felt whenever I walked into his small office, the way my stomach tightened, the way my heart grew rapid. It was a bit crazy; I had only seen him a few times.

It could very well be the fact that the only men I remembered treated me like shit, abused me, bought me, and degraded me. Jasper wasn't like that, of course. Jasper was my doctor, nothing more – and after some thinking, I wasn't going to let myself fall deeper for a man that wouldn't and couldn't ever be anything more.

"Hey, Alice! Why'd you skip out on TV?" Jane asked as she came through the cell door.

"Eh, I'm sick of the reality TV they always put on everyday. Where's Bree?"

"Right behind me," Jane answered in her chirpy voice, "and you're right. We should see if we can watch something else sometimes. Like House! Or maybe even Criminal Minds," she chuckled.

"Lights out!" the plain female guards said as they made their way through the block, checking all cells.

"Well, good night, girls," Bree said before laying down on her bed.

"Night!" Jane replied in her usual bouncy voice.

I lay my head back down on my pillow and thought some more about Jasper before falling into a stiff, but peaceful sleep.

As the block was heading for the rec, a C.O. called me for therapy. I instantly felt myself fall into a sense of calm.

Whenever I'd walk into Jasper's small, closet office, I'd feel myself wind down and relax.

"Afternoon, Alice. How has your week been going?" he asked curiously. He always asked how I was and how things had been going. I knew it was his job, but I couldn't help but wonder if he actually cared.

"It's been…remarkably non changing," I answered with a cheeky grin. I couldn't help but play a little with Jasper. He was easy hearted and I didn't have to pretend to be someone I was not.

Jasper let out a small laugh. "I mean, have you remembered anything?"

"No, but I'm not really trying to."

"Well, how about we talk a little about your time with Emmett?" he inquired quietly as he looked downwards towards the floor.

I could feel myself start to get a little warmer and I felt some anxiety start to brew. "What exactly would you like to talk about?"

"I don't know; how you met him? Why you decided to stay with him? How things were living there? Did you have any friends? Anything, really. You pick."

"I met him after I ran from the group home," I rushed, not exactly wanting to talk about Emmett, "I had a couple friends, sort to say. I got a few of them out of the situation we lived in any chance I got, though. It wasn't a fair life for them, living with Emmett as his puppet," I admitted.

"Didn't you think you deserved to get out of there, too, Alice? I mean, you cared enough about your friends, but what about yourself?" he asked.

This was a no-brainer for me, really. I had no place to go, I didn't have anyone anywhere. "Jasper, I don't have anyone and no place to go in the outside world."

I looked up through my lashes and saw sadness in Jasper's eyes. It almost looked like he was feeling for me as a friend and not as a patient.

I matched his expression.

"I'm sorry you felt you had no other options, Alice. And I'm sure that the family and friends of the girls you had helped are truly grateful for your help."

All too soon, the guards came and took me, to escort me back to my cell.

"We'll talk more next week, Alice," Jasper called out after they'd already whisked me away.

I silently cursed the women in black for taking me away so soon.

"Hair?" Bree asked with much enthusiasm.

I sat down on her bed and took the brush out of her hands. "Sure, Bree." And I smiled, patting the bed in front of me as I scooted backwards, my back leaning against the cool wall.

As I braided Bree's hair my mind went back and froth between Jasper and Emmett, and why he even cared about my life in that house. All I could come up with was the fact that the officials would need something for court when I was up for my parole hearing.

"There's a new inmate on our block, Alice. Did you hear about her?" Jane asked, plopping down next to us on Bree's bed.

I shook my head _no_ as I concentrated on keeping Bree's French braid tight and straight.

"Yeah, apparently she's a hooker, was picked up a few nights ago. I guess she had drugs, too. I wonder if you know her?"

I sighed. Even though I tried my hardest to make sure all the other girls were safe, I was hoping that part of my life was behind me and I wouldn't ever have to deal with it again. Except Ang. I worried about how she was doing constantly. If she was still at home, if she decided to keep the baby. If her parents were keeping her safe. I wished I had her address.

"Lauren. Yeah, that's it."

"Ponytail, please," I asked, trying to hide my frustration.

I knew her.

After I'd shot Emmett, I never really thought about the aftermath too much. Would the girls be upset I took away their shelter? Their work? Their money? Would they wish me dead?

I guess I might find out now. I'd try to avoid seeing her for as long as I could, though. I didn't really feel it was necessary to find out at all. I knew I would though, probably sooner rather than later.

Dinner came all too soon. I knew the inevitable was about to happen. I walked to the chow hall with Bree and Jane by my side, hoping like hell I would be able to avoid running into Lauren.

"Geez, Al, why're you walking so damn slow?" Jane asked, trying to nudge me along.

I kept quiet and picked up my pace a little bit, shrugging my shoulders. When we got to the window in the chow hall to get our trays, we all took our seat at our normal table.

A scoop of potatoes, two slices of turkey and a little cup of cranberry sauce. I kept my eyes on the doorway, waiting to see if she'd come through it.

Her hair was longer and she bleached it a bright yellow blond – it looked almost neon – and if I hadn't lived in the same grungy, run down house as her for so long, I probably wouldn't have known it was her. She'd lost some weight and she had faded bruises covering her arms.

I looked down at my plate and started eating, trying to blend in with the rest of the inmates. I didn't want any part of my old life coming back and scooping me up, bringing memories I didn't want to face front and forward.

The buzzer went off twenty long minutes later, signaling chow was over and I couldn't have been more relieved. I knew at some point I'd probably be face to face with her, but right now, I just really wasn't ready.

"Come on! Let's see if we can get the controller and get a new show on! It's Monday right," Jane said excitedly.

"I think so," Bree and I said in unison.

"I'd rather go back to our cell, though. Maybe play some cards?"

They both grabbed onto my arms and pulled me beside them and in the direction of the rec room.

"I don't think so! You're nuts," Jane chuckled.

Bree and I took a seat on one of the small sofas while Jane headed for the small TV making an announcement on the way over.

"We're going to watch something different tonight, if that's okay." She wasn't really asking.

She didn't get a fuss from the rest of the inmates and snuggled in between me and Bree on the couch. We actually got to watch a re-run of House MD. The entire room must have been grateful because it was extremely quiet the entire hour.

I glanced around the room a few times during the show, checking to see if Lauren was around, but I figured because she was still a new inmate she was up to other things. Or maybe she just chose not to come.

I wondered why she got arrested and where she'd been since I'd killed Emmett.

Did she have any family? I couldn't remember, but by the looks of her appearance, it didn't look like she was left with much in the outside world. I remembered Jane or Bree mentioning that she had drugs on her and that she was, in fact, still a _working girl_,so I could only imagine I took away all that she had.

There was a chance she could have chosen to live the life she led, but I'd never understand people like that. If there was anyway around it for me – I would have left before Emmett could say _boo_.

My mind took over throughout our time in the rec room. I stared at the TV, catching absolutely nothing before scenes for next week's episode came on and we were all marching off to our cells.

"God, House is hot," Jane giggled as we were climbing onto our cots.

"Yeah he is. And the sexual tension between him and Cuddy…ugh!"

I sat quietly under my sheets and let my mind drift off to Jasper while I waited for sleep to come.

"What's bothering you, Alice?"

"Nothing's really bothering me, Jasper. It's just that there was a girl brought in that I know. I'm not really sure if there's going to be any confrontation and I've avoided her as best as I can."

"Well, I'm sure you have nothing to worry about." Jasper said with a smile.

He was probably right, I mean, what could possibly happen? Lauren might not be too happy about the fact that I took out the man that gave her shelter and money, but what could she possibly do here, in a place filled with COs and locked doors?

"You're right. Though, I really was happy to be away from everything involving Emmett and that life."

Jasper nodded in understanding.

I took a moment to appreciate his appearance. Today he had on a fitted black sweater shirt and dark wash denim. His hair was in its usual disheveled state and his eyes were as crystal as the sky.

Jasper opened up the folder in front of him and pulled out a thick piece of paper. Reaching over his desk, he handed it to me and our hands touched. There was an odd flicker of light that had flashed through my eyes and my toes went numb. My heart thrummed and my breath became shallow. I swallowed hard.

"Um, what's this?" I asked quickly before looking at it. When I looked down at the paper, it was a picture. A picture of two people, a happy couple sitting next to a Christmas tree.

I swallowed hard again, this time for a completely different reason.

"Do you recognize them, Alice?"

"I don't understand."

Or I did. It was Emmett, and sitting snuggly next to him was the beautiful woman I had seen lying on the ground after the accident.

"Is this…was this…" I found myself at a loss for words.

Emmett was almost unrecognizable in all his happiness. His smile was beautiful and his eyes shined with pride.

Could I have been the reason the Emmett I knew sucked the life out of everyone and everything? Of course I could.

I looked up from the picture and the light in Jasper's eyes faded and his smile was gone. "Rosalie. Rosalie Cullen was her name. Was this the woman you saw?" he asked.

"Yes."


	4. Chapter 4

**A/N- Lots of sloppy kisses for Katy. **

**She is always squeezing me into her exciting life! Xoxo**

**Disclaimer: Not mine.**

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Why was Jasper showing me this picture?

"I'm not trying to upset you, Alice. I'm only trying to help you, remember."

My hand came up from the picture and I rubbed my forehead. How was this supposed to help me? I rested my head in my hand and closed my eyes. I allowed my breathing to calm and relaxed my muscles, and settled down quick.

"There was a dog." I applied a small amount of pressure to my temples. "A dog was in the road, Jasper."

"Good. That's a great start. Why don't we play Gin or something for a bit, now?"

I nodded my head as Jasper reached in his desk for a deck of cards.

"Gin!" I called out enthusiastically.

Jasper's face played the sad card for a moment and before he could pick up all the cards to shuffle and deal out a new hand, the trusty COs came in to whisk me away.

As always, I was annoyed and would have liked to scratch their eyes out.

"Wait just a moment, please," Jasper told me.

I looked back through the door and into Jasper's eyes. "Yes?"

"Don't strain yourself too hard, Alice – trying to remember, I mean. You don't want to rush things. See you next time."

As I was being brought back to my cell, I thought about what I had remembered this session, trying to ignore the feelings I had when Jasper and I briefly touched fingers. About the dog in the road and suddenly remember swerving out of the way before I woke up on the ground. I imagine I had been thrown out of the car, landing in the road.

Had we struck Emmett and Rosalie's car? Were they walking?

I did not remember.

Walking straight over to my bed, I lay on my stomach and bunched up my thin pillow, resting my chin on it. Closing my eyes, I thought back to what I could remember and tried to fill in the blanks.

"Last call. Showers!" a guard shouted through the hall.

I sighed and stood, gathering myself together before hitting the shower room. I must have taken a bit longer than I thought because when I got to the showers, the room was quickly emptying.

I closed my eyes under the running, room temperature water as it hit me like a brick.

_We were sitting at a table, a cake in front of me with a single candle. The entire restaurant was singing, "…Dear Ali, Happy Birthday to you!" The clapping was loud and the looks on my parents' faces were filled with joy._

We'd been out for my birthday the night of the car accident. The night that would end the life that I couldn't remember and start the life I had begun; a life that no one could possibly deserve.

The water ran cold as I shut it off and stepped out of the stall and into my towel. I dried off quickly and headed back to my cell.

"What took you so long?" Bree asked, her face confused.

"I had a therapy session; I was a little late getting to the shower room."

"What do you guys talk about, anyway?" Jane piped in.

"I think Jasper is trying to get me to remember my life before the accident," I answered quietly.

Both Jane and Bree were quiet and started busying themselves with their book and notepad.

A few minutes later Bree asked, "Do you think you'll ever remember?"

I closed my eyes. I wasn't sure how to answer. I was remembering things about the accident, but not about my life before. "I remembered a couple things today. Just about the accident, though." I shrugged my shoulders in defeat.

At this point, I wasn't sure I wanted to remember anything beforehand. Now I had lived a life I wasn't proud of and murdered a man, at the time, in cold blood – since he couldn't defend himself at the time. Now, I was in jail and it wasn't like I could have a relationship with friends and family here, not a real one anyway.

"Really," Jane somewhat gasped.

"Yes," I frowned, "I remembered a dog in the road…and people singing _Happy Birthday_," I said sadly. "To me."

The girls were both quiet again, Bree, busy writing and Jane reading – or both appearing to be.

I closed my eyes shut again and drifted off into an uncomfortable sleep.

_It was cold and I was on the bloodstained street again._

_This time when I saw the blue car sitting on its side – the door open – I saw a man crawling out. He was big and burly – Emmett. His face was scraped and the look in his eyes read terrified. He was frantically moving his broken body, in search of something…someone…__Rose__. _

_When he got out of the car, I could only see his boots again; he was limping and rushing around while shouting for Rosalie. Just then, his arms scooped up the woman that was lying next to me. My eyes closed again, only this time, a memory enveloped my dream._

"_Happy Birthday, sweetie," Mom said, a smile plastering her face._

"_We love you very much, and this is from the both of us," he smiled, handing me a wrapped gift, "maybe you can take it back to the dorms with you."_

_I opened the present and it was the picture I carried with me, until the day I misplaced it, framed in bronze. _

I woke up, my forehead sticky with sweat.

"Dinner," the girls both announced before bouncing up off their beds and out of the door to the chow hall.

"Come on, Alice." Jane peeked back into the room and waited for me patiently.

I ran my fork through my rice and thought back to the dream some more while staring at my milk carton. When I snapped out of my trance and looked up, Lauren happened to be standing right in front of me.

"Hey, Alice."

There wasn't any real emotion coming out of her, so I wasn't sure if she was pissed at me, or glad, or hell, even cared at all.

"Hi, Lauren," I said, glancing back down at my food. When I looked back up, Lauren had already walked away. I watched her take a seat at a table and begin to eat. Maybe she didn't care – maybe it didn't matter what I did either way. If I never knew, that would be okay with me.

I continued thinking back to where I left off and wondered briefly if my dream had a truth, but I already knew that it most likely did. It was most likely exactly what happened the night of the car accident.

Would I remember anything more? Did I even want to? I honestly thought that I was content not remembering much if not any of my life before. It would be extremely upsetting to me if I did have family or friends out there that didn't come for me after the crash.

By the time dinner was over, I only managed to have taken a few sips of milk.

* * *

I've been here for three years, nine months and had my parole hearing in two weeks – it made me anxious. I couldn't sleep and the only time I was calm was my time with Jasper. I hadn't told him about my dream in fear that I'd drum up some more memory. I'd recently accepted my life as it was.

Me.

Me and _Jasper_.

Jasper and I.

Even if he was only my doctor. And even if I didn't know much about him and have only been seeing him for a few months.

"Hi, Jasper! How are you?" I asked, excited to be here, seeing him today.

When I looked at him, I clearly knew something wasn't right.

"Alice," he said plainly, "I'm well, how are you?"

"As good as can be expected, Jasper. I can't really ask for anything more," I said while smiling. "I'm a bit confused why I'm here today, though. It's not our normal day."

Jasper looked down and began going through my file. He let out a sigh and suddenly closed the folder before filing it away in his metal cabinet of secrets.

"I've seen remarkable progress in you in the past couple of months, Alice. You've gone through so much and I'm proud of you." He looked around his office in disgust, which made me giggle, but kept that to myself.

Jasper looked around his office a few more moments. His eyes came back to me and his eyebrows pulled together as the look on his face became serious. He rarely spoke to me in such a true professional tone.

"I won't be coming back, Alice. I got a new job, at a real practice." I wasn't sure, but it sounded as though he wasn't happy about his new job. I certainly wasn't.

"You're leaving me." I couldn't get any other words to leave my mouth. I felt a silent tear roll down my cheek and wiped it away quickly. I could feel myself shutting down already.

The news was devastating. I looked forward to my twice-weekly sessions with him and our silly games of Spit and useless one on one games of Clue. I looked forward to talk to someone that knew everything about me, about my time after the accident, about my scars, and if not, I'm sure he realized. How he didn't make me feel like your average murderer or criminal.

"Alice, you have to know, you'll always have me. I have to do this. I have to move on. I will be there, up on that stand at your hearing and I'll be…" He stopped suddenly and I heard him clear his throat.

"You'll be what? _What_?" I demanded. This was possibly the worst thing that had ever happened to me…and that was saying a _lot_.

"Alice, I am limited to what I tell you. I can't say too much without hurting your case and my job. I'd toss the job in a heartbeat, but you getting out of here is way more important." He stood and pulled his wallet out of his back pocket, handed me his business card before heading to the door and opening it.

As I drug myself up off the worn seat I grew to love, I went to walk out of the door. Jasper grabbed a hold of my hand and whispered, "You'll see, Alice. It won't be long. You're going to get out of here before you know it and you'll see."

He quickly placed a small kiss next to my ear and nudged me out of his office.

That night, I lay in bed for what felt like hours, tossing and turning and trying to get to sleep. The little sleep I did manage to get rewarded me with a beautiful dream.

_I sat on a blanket that lay in a beautifully open field and under the single tree that had been placed perfectly in the open pasture, shielding the sunlight just enough that I wouldn't have to squint._

_Jasper walked across the green plush grass with a basket in one hand and two flutes in the other. He'd brought a beautiful picnic and a bottle of champagne to toast to my freedom._

_The food sat inside the basket the entire afternoon going untouched as I lay in jaspers lap while he stroked my hair softly and softly hummed a song I was unfamiliar. The song he hummed was beautiful, and it relaxed my entire body. _

"Breakfast!"

It pissed me off. I'd preferred to fall asleep forever, if I'd be blessed with dreams of Jasper and I, alone in a beautiful pasture all to ourselves.

It was only a few hours after I'd gotten the news of Jasper not returning that I realized I had absolute feelings for him; strong, real. Was it weird for that sort of thing to happen? Was it wrong? Hell if I knew. All that I knew now was that he was gone.

* * *

I'd been assigned to a new psychiatrist, Charlotte, and didn't find her at all like Jasper. She was cold and uncaring, said what she was supposed to say, and wrote down everything I chose to share with her. Usually it was stupid things like what I was reading or how I'd given Jane a cute hairdo.

I decided she was not someone I'd be able to get close to; she wasn't someone that cared about her job or her patients. Charlotte was about her paycheck. She was evil-looking and her smiles were scary. She wore expensive shoes, carried fancy bags and the ring on her finger told me she was about to marry into money, whether she was from money or not.

I had to play the part of the redeeming prisoner for another two weeks before my parole hearing.

My days and nights were blurring together and Jane was noticed that instead of my usual somewhat chipper self, which made the most of my life here in jail. I had started to become soft spoken and depressed.

I tried hard not to show my hurt and sadness and continued to chat quietly while I would play with her hair. I'd hum in response to her enthusiasm when she'd mention all the clients and money I'd be able to bring in if I became a hairdresser, impressed with what I could do with a little water and rubber bands.

I was tired and had a hard time eating. I was just days away from my hearing and unless I wanted to end up in psych, I'd have to continue the charade of _Happy Alice_.

And I did.

A few days before my hearing, we were all escorted back to our cells after dinner and before being called to shower.

When I walked into my little cage of hell, I noticed a white garment bag lying across my cot. I unzipped it slowly and inside was a black pencil skirt and suit top with red pin stripes and a matching red blouse that ruffled around the neckline and down the front. It was stylish and very court-appropriate.

At the foot of the bed was a box that held a pair of basic black ballet flats a half size too big.

Who would have sent me clothes for court? I had absolutely no family or friends outside of this place. The only person that I could come up with was…Jasper, but it couldn't have possibly have been him. A smile spread across my face anyway as I finished my previous thought.

I had been getting very nervous about my big day tomorrow, and the urge to throw up was all too close more times than I cared to count.

I was scared because I could because my parole could be shut down and I could be in here until the end of my sentence.

I was scared because if I were let out on parole, where would I go? What would I do? How would I survive?

I shivered at the thought. The last time, my survival wasn't so great. It sucked a whole lot. Deep down, I knew that that was no life I was about to live again, but it was still a sickening, scary image.

I rest my head on my pillow without showing the girls my clothes or even talking to them much the rest of the night and headed down a long road of hourless sleep, tossing, turning, racing heart, and wracked nerves.

I was up and atem' before lights were on and we were being told to wake and make our beds. I felt the need to get myself ready early. Be ready and waiting for when the COs came to get me.

My hair had grown well past the middle of my back since being here, losing my once black, spiky, cute hair. It was now back to its dark, rich, brown color. I rather liked it.

I opted out of letting people they called hairdressers touch it while I was here. I did what I could with a few rubber bands and some hair spray creating something of a loose French twist; a few pieces were being difficult and not staying in place. I gave up and let them fall, deciding to just tuck them behind my ears.

I turned and faced Jane and Bree. "Well?"

Tears started streaming down Jane's cheeks and she raced over to me from her cot, still half-asleep, crashing into me with a forceful hug.

"Even if I'm let out on parole, girls, I'm still coming back. They'll set a release date."

The guards came into the room just a few minutes after I'd finished getting ready – to shackle me in the ridiculously heavy chains and cuffs before escorting me to the van to drive me to the courthouse.

The day had finally come. A day that was going to possibly change my life forever – good or bad.


	5. Chapter 5

**A/N- Much love to Kate. Go home!**

**Disclaimer: Not mine.**

* * *

I sat in a dirty cell filled with women dressed in jumpsuits and scrubs. A few of them looked as though they were brought right in, wearing T-shirts and jeans. I felt uncomfortably out of place with the women staring at me as if I was a target.

After about an hour staring out of the bars that held us all in there, a guard called for me to come with him and I jumped off the bench and dashed to the doors like I had an invisible bulls-eye on my forehead.

As I reached the bars, the guard slid open the small metal plate and I placed my hands through it while he cuffed me once again.

We walked down the dirty hall and around a corner, where I saw a woman in a navy blue pantsuit. The guard and I approached her and she introduced herself as my public defender.

She'd explained to me that things looked good and in my favor. I'd stayed out of trouble while in prison, I'd never been in any fights, always followed the rules we were given, and had minded my own business.

"And your psychiatrist thinks very highly of you. He fully believes that even though you were found guilty for premeditated murder, that you weren't fully capable of understanding your actions at the time." She bent down and grabbed her suitcase, leading me into the courtroom through a side door. She escorted me to a row of chairs that were sectioned off to the side of the large courtroom by a waist-high wall.

Two men were already seated in the row of seats and they looked like they could break me in two in a flash. I minded my own business and focused on the granite floor until I heard my name called.

"Alice Brandon. Docket number zero-zero-four-eight-three-two."

A man standing by the judges side walked over swiftly, leading me to a small table where my lawyer was now seated.

I was extremely nervous and kept my eyes focused on the clock that adorned the wall right in front of me until I heard my lawyer say, "At this time, your honor, I'd like to bring in Dr. Whitlock."

My eyes shot immediately to the doors behind me and I carefully watched as Jasper walked into the courtroom, avoiding eye contact with me as he approached the bench.

I had never seen Jasper were anything other than casual clothes. He was dressed to impress. His face had been shaven clean, hair combed and not a hair out of place. I kind of missed the disheveled mess.

He wore an amazing black blazer and a pair of matching dress pants. His shoes shined from the overhead seemingly iridescent lighting. His tied was black and baby yellow, and his shirt a deep gray. He looked like he came straight out of an Armani catalog.

My heart began to thrum so hard, I thought it might jump out of my chest. I hoped no one would see it. I felt the hairs on the back of my neck start to tickle as the raised slightly. I had to fight the overwhelming need to smile, though it was disheartening just a bit that he refused to even look in my direction, let alone look at me.

"Please, hold up your right hand. Do you swear to tell the truth, the whole truth and nothing but the truth?" the officer asked.

"Yes, sir," Jasper answered undoubtedly professional, and then he took his seat at the podium.

* * *

After all was said and done, I was granted parole and was set to be released six days.

I'd spent that time preparing to say my goodbyes to the two friends I had made during my sentence. Jane, Bree I had become fairly close, and I promised them that I would always keep in touch.

Before I knew it, six days had passed. I had no idea where I was going to go or what I was going to do when I was let out.

The guard came to get me from my cell, this time opening the door without cuffing me. He handed me a plastic bag with the few belongings I had come in with. He waited for me while I turned around and smiled at my friends, tears falling freely from the three of us.

They didn't give me any time for the proper goodbye that I had prepared all week for. It was hard to turn away from the only friends I'd ever remember having.

We walked out and into an office I'd never been in. My public defender handed me an envelope. "There is seventy dollars in here; it was the best I could do. Also, there is a shelter about five miles from here that will allow you to sleep there at night. You'll need to find a job…they'll help."

I walked out of the office and was led to the doors of my freedom. But is that what I would call it? I had nothing outside of this place and I felt like a lost puppy.

Keeping my head down, I walked down the cement walkway that led to a guard sitting in a small guard shack. It was beautiful outside. There was a slight breeze and the sky was blue, almost as breathtaking as the eyes I couldn't ever stop thinking about. I peeked at the man as he pulled a lever that released the gate for me to leave.

I paused. I had become so accustomed to being a prisoner that I had no idea what was out there. It was big and new…and scary.

I heard the guard clear his throat and I jumped a little.. My feet made the ultimate decision for me, walking me through the gate on their own accord.

I walked for about twenty minutes before realizing how far away five miles was. I probably wouldn't make it without having to take a break and the sun was already setting; I came to a small intersection as heard my name being called. The voice was one I had grown to love and trust, and made my heart beat rapidly in an instant.

I glanced to my right. About a block down leaning against the door of a black car was the man I had missed dearly.

Pausing, unsure of what was happening, I took a deep, cleansing breath. Was that the _real _Jasper or were my eyes playing nasty little games with me? And what was he doing here?

Before I could question things anymore, I found myself running to him as fast as I could, losing one of my black ballet shoes in the process – but it didn't stop me.

A few feet before reaching him, I let the bag fall from my arms and I crashed into him.

"Jasper," I sighed, completely out of breath.

"I told you Alice, I told you you'd see." Jasper took my hand in his and led me to the passenger seat, closing the door after I was seated.

He was _perfect_.

I watched as he walked around the front of the car to his driver's side door. He pulled it open, sat down quickly as he slammed the door shut behind him. He turned to me with that smile I had missed all these weeks.

"It's too late now, but tomorrow, I've got the day planned out. Perfectly."

I looked at him with a questioning glance, but couldn't form any sort of words in my head that would make any sense.

He looked away quickly and started the car, releasing a small breath and glancing out of the windshield.

"Alice," he said, looking back at me and into my now tear-stained eyes, "we're going home."

I wasn't sure I'd heard him right. "Home?" I questioned, my voice barely audible.

Maybe he was taking me to the shelter my lawyer had told me about a short time ago, but I had to believe he meant home with him. I wanted to believe that, and I would until he told me otherwise.

He chuckled. "I refuse to let you live on the streets again, Ali." He'd used the name I told him I remembered my mother calling me, and the way it rolled off his tongue was alarming. It was almost like I'd never been his patient – _friend_.

None of this was making much sense to me. Jasper had never really shown any signs that we had more than a patient-doctor relationship and now he was offering me his home. He'd even taken a job elsewhere, leaving me to a new psychiatrist. A doctor that wouldn't know anything about me, other than what Jasper had written down in my file - someone that would have to start fresh.

Wrapping my head around it proved to be immensely challenging in the moment, I was confused. Could he really consider me more than just a patient? I wasn't about to question him, not now, but I'm sure that my eyes were telling another story.

He smiled. Brilliantly.

"Yes," he said, answering my silent question. "My house isn't glamorous, small even. And I share it with my sister, but I'd like you to come home with me."

Sister. Jasper had a sister. It occurred to me that I really didn't know much about him, other than the fact he was a therapist and a remarkably wonderful, caring man.

I realized the car had been moving and the sun had almost set, the lighting creating an orange glow that caused Jasper's newly-grown stubble to sparkle in the light.

"Sister?" I asked, without thinking. It wasn't easy to loose my concentration around him.

"Yes, she's 24, about your age, and she's wonderful. I've already talked to her and she's thrilled to have you."

I became a little nervous at the thought of meeting his sister. I had no idea what Jasper might have told her about me, and I recoiled in my seat.

"Alice, you're a good person. A wonderful woman. My sister trusts my judgment. She knows what happened – why you were in prison. It's okay."

As soon as Jasper finished telling me everything would be fine, he pulled into a small driveway.

"Welcome home," he said, smiling. He made no movement, as if he was waiting for me to tell him I was okay with the idea of being here. And I was, though I was scared to meet his family – his _sister_.

What would she think of me, what _did _she think of me? I had murdered a man in cold blood and had been in _prison_.

I could only drum up enough energy to nod my head. The word _okay_ or something like it wouldn't meet my mouth.

Jasper pulled the keys from the ignition and slowly opened his door, stepping out onto the worn grey pavement. I opened my door swiftly and forced my feet from the car. I stood and tested the ground.

My eyes wondered the property. There sat a beautiful yellow, two-story home with a porch that wrapped around the front and sides. The front yard was small, but from what I could see, Jasper's back yard was large. Black shutters adorned the windows and there were two hanging plants lining the stairs leading to the door.

My eyes found Jasper's. He was watching me. He held out his hand and as I took it, my eyes left his and glanced back at the house at the sound of the front door opening.

His sister stood in the door.

"It's okay, I promise."

My hands must have shook a little for Jasper to reassure me again. He led me up the stairs and onto his porch.

She was unremarkably pretty. Plain.

Her hair was long and chestnut brown, nothing like her brothers. Her eyes matched her waves, dark and shiny. She wore a small t-shirt and I immediately noticed the small hole at the seam line of her shoulder. Her jeans were well worn. She looked comfortable and - pretty.

She smiled and her eyes shone even more. She looked happy I was here, less her ratty clothes. I smiled back and held out my hand. "Hi!" I almost shouted. My feet grew numb with my nervousness.

She giggled, and held out her hand to take mine, only she pulled me into a small hug.

"I'm Bella," she said. "You must be Alice."

I returned her awkward huge and nodded my head. "It's nice to meet you, Bella."

"Please, come in."

It was the strangest introduction ever and Jasper didn't help at all. He just lied back and allowed the mess happen with a smile plastered on his face. He probably knew it was gong to fall that way. Son of a –

"Are you hungry?"

I was too busy taking in my surroundings when she asked to answer. Jasper certainly held back some truth about his home.

We walked into his living room through the front door, a set of stairs were to the right. The room was massive and you could see back into the kitchen from where we stood. On the far left wall there held a massive TV, large enough I almost felt like it should be in a theater. The couches were black, leather, smooth. Underneath the TV was a glass cabinet holding a stereo and some sort of gaming systems. The beige walls were bare. The coffee table was in front of the couches and held only a few magazines and a few controllers. They were tidy people.

"Thirsty, maybe?"

"Sorry," I admitted. "I am a little thirsty." I was so overwhelmed. "Jasper, you have a gorgeous home!" My inner Alice was threatening to escape under all the excitement and pressure and I fought to keep it at bay.

Jasper giggled quietly. "Thank you, Ali."

I looked back at Bella and saw her still smiling, shaking her head slightly. She must have noticed my excitement. "We have Pepsi, Sunny Delight, tea, coffee or milk."

"Tea would be wonderful. Thank you, Bella."

I instantly felt a strong sense of calm as jasper took my hand lightly to lead me to the kitchen. And again, my eyes roamed my surroundings.

The kitchen wasn't remarkable, but certainly a chef's kitchen, and you could tell it was a man's house, even with Bella living here. It was large and held a wrack in the middle of the ceiling where fancy pots and pans dangled down above an island with a stove and sink. The room was lined in mahogany wood, and black and chrome appliances were throughout.

"Let me show you where you'll sleep while the water's boiling," Bella said as she walked past me and back through the living room. I quickly followed, though mentally reluctant.

When we were at the top of the stairs, I quickly noticed four doors and was a bit relieved I'd have my own space. When Bella opened the door, though, unveiling a large bedroom, but two large beds. Like the rest of the house, the room was neat and tidy.

"This is our room."

It didn't go unnoticed that she said _our_. I could make it work. It wasn't that I was ungrateful for all that was being offered to me, I'd just assumed I'd get my own bedroom in such a nice house. And I was definitely shocked Bella would be as kind as to share her room with me.

"I'm sorry, I really didn't mean to intrude, Bella."

"No, no. It's fine. Really. Besides, I have no intention on living here forever," Bella admitted. "I'm glad to have you."

"Thank you, really!" And before I could stop myself and my newly discovered Ali tendencies, I jumped in for a manic hug. "Oh gosh," I said, releasing Bella from my death grip, "I'm sorry, I'm just not used to –"

"It's okay, Alice. This is your bed over here," she said as she took a few steps forward. Probably shying away from my quick struck bought of mania. I didn't blame her, I couldn't.

Underneath a large window was where my bed sat. It had to have been queen-sized, though I didn't have much to compare it to. I sat down and checked out my new living space.

Separated by a nightstand was Bella's bed dressed in simple navy blue. I looked down to see my bed in a deep purple. The comforter was soft as I reached down to feel its silkiness. I took a seat on the bed and couldn't help but rest my back down. The bed was super soft and cozy.

At the far side of the room was a TV stand, holding a much smaller screen than the one downstairs. Across from that, at the foot of my bed was a large bookcase – there must have been hundreds of books.

"You can take the closet, it's right here," she said, pointing to the door next to her bed. "I don't use it."

I looked up from the bed, saddened by the idea of not being able to use the closet. I didn't have anything to dress a closet with, let alone myself

"Thank you, Bella. You have no idea how much this means to me. I hope we become great friends," I told her, knowing that it would be true.

As much as I was enjoying my new shared room, I really just wanted to get back downstairs to be with Jasper. As if Bella could read my mind, she piped up, "Come on. Let's go get your tea."

* * *

I'd taken a lot in in the past few hours since I'd been released. Jasper and Bella's generosity was astounding. I couldn't wrap my head around the fact that there really were such caring and generous people in the world. I would forever be grateful.

We watched some TV that evening while Bella flounced around the kitchen preparing Alfredo for dinner. After we'd eaten it was pretty late and we all said goodnight.

Bella loaned me a well-worn tee and some sweatpants to sleep in. It was obvious the girl chose comfort over style. _I'd have to work on her_. I smiled at the thought.

My first night was difficult. It was strange that sleeping in such a nice place in such a cozy bed would be difficult. I guess after so many years of disgust, followed by your basics in jail, it would be challenging. I was used to surviving with so little for so long.

It felt like every time I fell into a deep sleep, I'd startle awake, toss, and turn, the process repeating for hours. I gave up at some point in the middle of the night and made my way downstairs to the couch, bed spread and pillow in hand.

I snuggled my way into the couch's slick leather and fell to sleep quick.

I dreamed of Jasper...again.


	6. Chapter 6

**A/N: As always, much love to Kate. Without her...I don't even want to think. **

**A teeny tiny bit of JPOV here. Doesn't give you too much insight though, sorry!**

**I'm hoping this early update will kick my ass into gear. Hopefully ****I**** can finish by my Birthday!****Excuse my inability to form large words...it annoys **_**me**_** to no end!**

**Disclaimer-Not mine!**

* * *

**APOV**

I woke up to the smell of what I remembered to be bacon. On the rare occasions we got bacon in prison, the entire cellblock would smell it. Someone was quietly bustling around the kitchen cooking breakfast. I squinted, opening my eyes just a little bit and was rewarded with the marvelous site of Jasper sitting on the chair directly in front of me reading a news paper.

"Ah, good morning, Ali," he said, smiling marvelously. "Why didn't you sleep upstairs?" he asked, his smile falling a little when he finished his question.

"I'm not really sure, Jasper. I mean, the bed is really nice. It's real comfortable, too, but I just kept tossing and turning." I frowned. "I'm sorry."

**JPOV**

She was apologizing for not being able to sleep? I didn't understand.

I realized that it was just probably something she wasn't used to. A place of warmth and love. A safe place – a real-life family.

I was struck by sadness the instant I remembered what kind of life Ali lived before now. I couldn't stand the thought of anyone hurting her, anyone treating her the way they did, and what she had to do to even survive. I couldn't imagine anyone ever doing that to her.

She was a stunning creature, a loving and caring woman, selfless and understanding. She deserved so much more than she'd ever had and I wanted be the one to show her.

For months, I've been questioning my feelings, trying to justify them, but with being her doctor, nothing was right, and when I had heard about her parole hearing, I knew deep down that she was going to be released. They couldn't possibly continue her sentence with what she had endured. The only thing she had left were her survival instincts and she used them when they were absolutely necessary.

When would I tell her how I felt? Did she know? _Would_ I even tell her?

**APOV**

"There's no need to apologize, Ali. I'm sure this is all going to take some time. It's understandable. I just want you to be comfortable. If that is downstairs on the couch, that is okay."

"Thank you. For everything, Jasper."

"Breakfast is done," Bella said from the kitchen.

Jasper stood from his seat and reached for my hand. "Hungry?"

I wasn't truthfully hungry but I nodded my head and took Jasper's hand anyway. I didn't want to be rude, but with everything that had been going on in my world, my stomach was in an uproar and parading down Main Street…or something.

"Well, I'm bringing Edward over for dinner tomorrow night. I mean, you should probably meet him at some point," Bella said after placing her empty glass of orange juice in the dining room table.

"Yeah, probably," Jasper answered nonchalantly. "Things getting pretty serious with you two, Bella?"

"Jasper," Bella giggled awkwardly, "things have been serious for quite some time, a couple months, sheesh." Jasper laughed as Bella looked up at me. "There isn't really anything appealing to me about a mall, but I'd really like to take you out so you have _something_ to put in that large closet. It might actually be fun." She smiled.

Jasper placed his hand on mine then and I felt that instant flow of warm calm flow throughout my inside. "That's, a great idea, Bella."

"That's awful nice of you, maybe I can find a job," I piped, getting a bit excited about the prospect of going out into the world for something other than working the streets or searching out my next meal.

"We'll head out in a bit. I put some clothes out for you on your bed. They aren't anything great, but I figured you'd want to take a shower and put on some clean clothes. You can use our bathroom or the one in the hall."

It was so nice of Bella to be so great through all of this. I had just bombarded in on her life and she was being so gracious and accepting. I had never known people like this, not at all. Not in this life, anyway.

"Thank you, Bella." I rinsed off my plate and glass and placed them in the dishwasher before excusing myself, heading upstairs to clean up.

When I walked out of Bella's shower – our shower, I walked over to the bed and noticed a small t-shirt and pair of jeans. They were going to by much too large for me, I hoped she'd have a belt laying somewhere around here.

I shimmied my feet through the extra long legs and wrestled them up to my waist, quickly buttoning them before snuggling my way into the much too big T. Rob Zombie, ack!

A pair of sneakers sat at the foot of the bed, and like the other things, they were a little too big. I frowned at my small body that desperately lacked in height and muscle mass. I was so grateful for all of Bella's help. I shrugged off my attitude towards the clothes that didn't fit to my liking and headed downstairs.

"All set, Alice? Sorry I'm a little bigger than you," Bella chuckled, walking towards the door.

I was a bit reluctant to leave without Jasper, but I trusted that he wouldn't let me leave with anyone that would be dangerous. And Bella was most definitely not a dangerous person from what I gathered. Awkward and plain. And very, very nice.

"We'll be back," Bella shouted up the stairs and shutting the door behind me.

The mall was big. My eyes widened with excitement over the new experience I was about to have. I already could feel the overwhelming need to try things on and swipe credit cards, though I never remember do either of those things before.

The parking lot was busy with traffic and parked cars, and it felt like it was Christmas morning. I imagined the shoppers rushing through the mall, arms weighed down heavily with bags filled with clothing and shoes. Books and wall paintings.

I jumped at the sound of Bella's door closing. "Have you never been shopping, Alice? You look like a little kid about to go into a toy store."

"Not that I remember."

Bella opened the door to the mall and motioned for me to walk inside. The air smelled of clean, new fabric and take-out. The lights were dim and small stores lined the hallway of the door we had entered.

"Go ahead and take the lead. I'll follow," Bella said.

I mentally paused looking down the hall and back and forth from its sides. I had no idea where to go. I began chewing on my cheek.

"Come on, Let's walk a little while. There's gotta be a store that catches your eye," Bella said, saving me from my confusion.

After a little while of pacing the mall, I finally decided to allow myself to enter a small store that displayed cute clothing in its windows. I needed to get something accomplished soon, because the look on Bella's face was pure boredom. I knew she wasn't too thrilled about shopping and I didn't want to grate on her nerves longer than needed.

My eyes widened and I immediately felt like I belonged. I looked up at Bella from a rack of tops, smiling brightly. "Oh gosh," I said, not having any idea which color to chose.

Bella wrinkled her nose, smiling and told me to grab as many colors as I liked as she headed over to the dressing room doors.

I slung the black and navy blue tops over my shoulder and headed for another wrack quickly. I _was_ like a child in a toy store.

My eyes caught a small tower of shoes and I almost ran straight into a man in my futile attempt to grab the spike-heeled boots I saw sitting nicely, nuzzled in between two pair of ungodly, hideous, strappy sandals. I grabbed the boots and prayed they were a six and a half. A seven would have to work. I attempted to calm myself down before heading back over to the abandoned rack of pants.

I glanced over towards Bella and she sat there, leaning against a dressing room door grinning at me from ear to ear. I must have been amusing her with my crazed frenzy. I couldn't help the feeling I got from the moment I walked into the store.

I finished up in about an hour and Bella and I ended the trip with a small bite to eat in the food court before we headed back home.

Jasper's car wasn't in the driveway when we got home and I instantly felt a sadness creep under my skin. Bella must have noticed because she was quick to let me know he'd gone to work and would be home around dinner time.

I spent the afternoon filling my new closet. Playing with my new clothes and shoes I came home with for what must have been hours. I hung them according to color and when I finished, I switched them up again, hanging them according to outfit and color.

When I was pleased with the array of colors, I tore myself away from the large closet and lay in my bed thinking about the thought of meeting Bella's boyfriend. I wondered what he'd be like and if he'd be as kind as Jasper and Bella.

I must have fallen asleep because when I woke, it was dark and the house smelled like an Italian eatery. I made my way downstairs to the kitchen sitting down beside Jasper. He was looking through some files and I assumed he was working so I didn't say anything.

"Did you have fun today? Bella said you were like a girl in a doll store."

My cheeks grew warm and I began to feel embarrassed. "I did. I've never been shopping."

"I'm glad you liked it," he said, peeking up from his work. "Bella told me that you guys didn't have much time and you didn't end up looking for a job?"

I felt like an ass immediately.

"It's okay, Alice. I actually had an idea this afternoon." Jasper began twirling his pen through his fingers and I looked at him with questioning eyes. "How would you feel about working with me? I mean, not with patients, but helping me file papers and answering the phone for me?"

"Would your office be okay with that? I mean, wouldn't I ultimately be working for them?"

It didn't escape me that Jasper held in a laugh. "I work out of my basement. It's a full office down there, it even has a waiting area."

"Wow, Jasper. I'd love to. I mean, if you can teach me. I've never had a job. Is it hard?" I began rambling so I forced my jaw closed.

"I'll show you everything you need to know tomorrow, okay?"

I nodded, trapping manic Alice away.

"Fantastic. We'll get started in the morning."

* * *

I woke in the morning anxious and excited. I'd be spending the day with Jasper and actually learning how to hold a real job. I hoped and prayed that I wouldn't disappoint Jasper and be able to help him to the best of my ability.

**JPOV**

I woke early. The thought of spending the day with Alice was overwhelming. I knew she'd be able to perform her job just fine, but it didn't escape me that this might not have been the best of idea I've ever had. I wasn't sure if I'd be able to work efficiently and professionally with this breath taking woman sitting in the chair just a few feet from me, separated only by a thin wall every day.

Mostly, it didn't matter. I wanted Ali to be able to see what life should be like. A job, caring people, and the normal world.

**APOV**

I showered quickly and dried my hair straight, tossing it up in a loose pony tail before dressing.

I chose the most professional pair of pats I had - my grey bootlegs and paired them with my white button-down dress shirt. When I was walking out of the room, I noticed a black scarf hanging slightly off Bella's dresser and slid it off, wrapping it around my neck before walking out of the room.

I snatched up a banana and ate it quickly, wanting to find my way downstairs quickly. I stood against the island while eating it and gazed out the window. It was dark and dreary outside, rain pelting against the lawn chairs that were outside in the backyard just a few feet from the backdoor.

I opened the door in the dining room leading downstairs to Jasper's office and walked down the stairs slowly, my heart pounding with nerves.

When I reached the bottom of the stairs, the large waiting area was illuminated in soft lighting; bookcases lined the wall in front of. Two recliners sat nuzzled behind a wrought iron coffee table covered in an array of magazines.

To the right was a door that I assumed led into Jaspers office. A light was on and I heard the wrestling of papers coming from the room.

Beside the door sat a small desk with a phone, a tray filled with paper, and an open laptop. Besides that, a solid oak filing cabinet that looked more like a hutch that belonged in a fancy, upper class sitting room.

"Good morning," I called out quietly.

"Morning Alice," he said, voice chipper and alert. "Come on in."

I walked into the room with careful steps and saw Jasper sitting at another small desk. The office was small and comfortable. The same dim lighting and a chaise that matched the soft, hunter green microfiber of the recliners out in the waiting area.

Stacks of books covered a shelf behind his desk, the bindings old and antique-looking. Beautiful paintings lined the chocolate walls. It looked like Jasper had been settled in here for a while.

"Wow Jasper, this is amazing."

A smile spread across his face. "Thank you. I've had the office for awhile, but worked at a few practices as well. Now, let's head out to _your_ desk and show you the basics."

Jasper spent a good amount of time showing me how to file patient files, how to answer the phone and book appointments. Things went well and seemed easy enough.

"And that's really about it. Is there anything you're not sure about, Ali?"

I shook my head. "I don't think so, Jazz…" I cut myself off and giggled a little. "I mean Jasper. Sorry."

I'm not sure where that came from.

"Jazz, huh?" He winked. "Jazz…I like it," he said, spinning around on his toes and heading back to his office, turning around at his door. "And Alice, There's a small magnetic mail holder on the fridge upstairs. You'll find a credit card up there, order yourself some clothes online if you want. I know you didn't get too much yesterday. Bella can help you if you need it."

I grinned, but didn't really want to take advantage of all the help Jasper was handing out to me. I felt terribly needy. "It's okay, I have a few things to wear…"

"Alice, we'll take it out of your check weekly or something. Don't worry about it."

I frowned realizing now that not only did I have a place to stay, a job handed to me and a shopping trip had, now I was getting a paycheck. Jasper smiled at my frown, winked again and headed into his office shutting the door a bit.

"Stop being so stubborn Ali, I want to do this. I'm sure you're hungry. Why don't you go make us a sandwich? I have a patient coming in soon."

As I was getting up to try my hand at not screwing up something as simple as a sandwich, the small door opened to the right of my desk and a small man came strolling in.

"You can come on in, James."

I smiled at the young, handsome man and headed back upstairs.

* * *

'Edward will be here in about an hour, guys," Bella said from the kitchen.

"That smells wonderful, Bella! I'm starving." I said, bouncing up to my toes from the couch. "I'm gonna go jump in the shower, Jazz." I spun on my heels and ran straight upstairs, determined to make a good impression.

I heard the doorbell as I was setting my brush down and instantly felt my nerves buckle. I was hoping that I felt comfortable enough in my new home to finally be at ease with the prospect of meeting new people. Fail.

I left the bathroom and went back downstairs, hoping Jasper would be close to the stairway so I could hide behind him…or in a closet…or maybe under his arm. I inwardly sighed. Would things ever be like that?

I hoped so.

When I reached the bottom of the stairs, Jasper and Bella were in the doorway making introductions, Jasper's hand in Edward's. "It's nice to finally meet you."

I bounced over to Jasper's side. "Hi! I'm Alice! You must be Edward…it's very nice to meet you!" Great. Manic Alice at full attention.

Edward was tall, a good three or so inches taller than my Jasper, err...Jasper. His hair was a complete wreck, but looked like it belonged, and his eyes were a piercing green. He was lean, but not skinny. I wondered what Bella saw in someone like him, but quickly realized I was being judgmental. Maybe they were the perfect fit.

His clothes were nice and neat, unlike Bella's simple jeans, band T, and tennis shoes. Edward was decked out in a striped button down, dark wash jeans and a pair of lower scale dress shoes.

Edward didn't handle my chipper additude as well as Bella. In fact, the look he was giving me was quite intimidating – bank even. He was looking at me, but almost through me. It was almost like I'd just killed his baby bunny…or something. I quivered and shied behind Jasper. Edward just kept staring at me.

"Alice Bra…" He paused. Bella must have told him my last name, but why didn't he finish? "Hello, Alice. It's um," he shook his head ever so slightly and started over, "it's very nice to meet you. I'm Edward. Edward Cullen."

Jasper reached for my hand and squeezed it firmly. I noticed his gaze began to tighten on Edward's face and I was instantly terrified; I had no idea what was happening and felt like I was somehow ruining Bella's night.

Bella then cleared her throat. "Well, enough of this awkward moment, I have enough of those to last all of us a lifetime. Come on, dinner's just about finished," she said, leading us into the kitchen.

While we were eating dinner silently, Edward broke loose. "You must know my sister."

We all stopped chewing our food and looked up at Edward. Who was he speaking to? It couldn't possibly have been addressed to me. Could it? Was his sister someone that lived in Emmett's house?

I didn't recognize the name Cullen, but also, I didn't know most of the girls last names.

"What?" both Bella and Jasper asked as I sat silently still.

* * *

**End A/N: ****I**** hate asking, but reviews are like Christmas presents, please find it in your heart to leave one!**


	7. Chapter 7

**A/N thank you, Katy, muh dear. ILY**

**Disclaimer: Not mine.**

* * *

**APOV**

Was he talking about _Emmett's_ Rosalie? The coincidence was remarkable. I instantly felt an overpowering sadness. A bit of shock over took me. I stilled.

And she was alive? What happened after the wreck, had she survived and been injured so badly that that's why Emmett had gone off the deep end? Turning into the man that I had known.

I had no idea how to respond to any of what I was hearing, and by the expression on Jasper's beautiful face, he was mortified. I took into consideration of the nights earlier introductions that Jasper had already known what would be coming at some point during the night. Almost as if he had been waiting patiently for the pin to be pulled out of the grenade.

My fork dropped on the china that held my rib eye and baked potato, making a loud clanking sound. Both Jasper and Bella looked me dead in the eye, and not knowing how to react, they dropped their faces back to the food in front of them and started eating -moving the food around their plates.

"Is she okay? Rosalie," I asked, not wanting to be rude.

Edward's eyes fell on mine. His look was blank. He didn't want to be here, talking about his sister, who I now knew was alive…but was she well?

"All things considered," Edward answered, sounding slightly annoyed with the conversation. "She lives in a rehabilitation center - until I get a bigger place that can accustom her needs."

My eyes gravitated from Edward's to the wall behind him. I became invisible and numb. This was my entire fault. If Jasper and Bella hadn't been such wonderful people, this night wouldn't have ever happened. I wanted to run upstairs and hide in my closet.

As I stared through him, words escaped me. "How is she?" I wished right then and there I could take them back and shove them back down my throat and into my stomach.

Edward looked up, chewing on the inside of his cheek for a moment before answering me. "I'm sorry, Alice. There isn't any reason for me to be upset or angry with you. If anything, you are as much as a victim as Rosie. She's doing as best as can be expected. She's in a chair, but get's along pretty well. She is excited to be getting out of the rehab center soon. She's pretty feisty towards everyone that tries to help her. She's very stubborn," Edward explained, letting out a small chuckle at the end.

I smiled. I was glad Rosalie was alive and well. I was also leaving a bridge un-walked. Maybe jasper would be able to let me know what had happened since Emmett had been gone, or even what happened to him before I killed him, why he'd become the man he was.

I was pretty certain that whatever happened to Rosalie was probably the reason behind it all.

I didn't want to be rude, but excused myself from the table anyway, almost running up the stairs to my room. I threw myself on my bed and almost instantly began to see the pictures in my head again. It had been awhile since the last time I thought about the accident.

I shoved my head into the plush of the silk covered pillow and it played like a movie - behind the dark shades of my eyelids.

_Dad was driving and laughing about something my mother had said. He smiled, looking over to her for just a split second before looking back to the road in from of him._

_We'd been driving down a dark, narrow road and out of nowhere - in that split second - a dog come running straight into the road a few feet in front of us._

_Headlights were directly in front of our car now and the screeches from the tires were loud - ear piercing. _

_I could hear myself whimpering, but not in my dream. I felt like I was awake, but knew deep down I was having another nightmare. I _couldn't_ wake myself up._

**JPOV**

I heard Alice's cries coming down the hallway and knew I had to help somehow. I didn't want to startle her, but I couldn't just sit here and listen to her suffer, in what I assumed was a deep, but traumatizing sleep.

Bella had taken off with Edward as soon as we had finished dinner, so it wasn't like she could help.

I stood up from my bed, pacing the length of my room a few times before heading into the hallway. Her cries were soft, childlike and sad.

I opened her door slowly and what I seen was heart wrenching. Her comforter was in bunches, surrounding her tiny body. Her pillows strewn about and she was still fully clothed. She was lying in fetal position with her hair covering her beautifully terrified face. She was shaking slightly and every few seconds she'd kick a leg, flail and arm, or shake her head in protest.

She had to have been dreaming about the car accident that led her to where she was today. I had no idea who Edward was until tonight and I felt like the biggest ass, but how was I supposed to have any idea?

I would try my best to fix things, help her get through this. I slowly stepped over towards her bed and sat down as easily on the foot end, trying a little too hard not to startle her.

I placed my hand on her small ankle and rubbed soothing strokes, whispering that everything was okay, she was okay. I shushed her and she seemed to settle down a little.

Her legs began to still and her facial expression changed from pure exhaustion to peaceful sleep after a few more minutes.

The feel of her soft skin under my hand awakened my senses and I wanted to wake her then and there, tell her how I felt.

**APOV**

I woke up and calmed down the moment Jasper's hand touched me. My body instantly settled and I felt relief from the dream I found myself trapped in. His touch was soothing and soft. His shushes and quiet words of comfort were like the silk of the sheets peeking out from under the bunched comforter.

My body ached for more of him. It begged and pleaded for me to jump into his lap and hide under his arm forever.

I slowly rolled onto my back and looked up at him, smiling small. "Jasper," I breathed.

"I'm sorry, Ali. I just couldn't stand to hear you like that."

"No, thank you, so much."

I sat up, scooted closer to him, and by my own surprise reached in for a hug. He was warm and smelled wonderful. Crisp starch, soapy undertones, and man. My arms slung around his neck; it was strong and lean, but muscular.

He reached for me now, his arms tight, squeezing my body, returning my appreciation, but I wanted more. I wanted more from this, from him and I didn't know if he felt the same way, there wasn't any real reason for me to believe he did or would.

I rested my head on his shoulder and peeked up at his face. He was staring at the floor with an expression I couldn't decipher. They weren't sad or happy. It was almost as if he were undecided. Before I could summon up the courage to ask him what he was thinking about he leaned his head on mine.

"Alice…"

He cut himself off, pausing shortly before twisting his body a little to face my own. His hand reached up and tucked my hair behind my hair. "I left because I started feeling things for you. Things a doctor shouldn't feel for a patient."

Before I could say anything in return, Jasper's thumb caressed my cheek, causing it to radiate with warmth under his touch. His other hand came up to cup my other cheek and his gaze shot through my body with an intense fiery feeling.

I held onto his forearms, silently telling him without words that this was what I wanted. I needed his body to wrap around mine and never let me go. I felt safe with him, near him, in his home and I loved him.

I _loved _Jasper Whitlock.

I don't know when it happened, or how, but I knew.

I brought my lower lip in my mouth, and when I released it jasper came in slowly, pulling my head towards his, tilting his face slightly. His expression was soft, warming, and inviting.

His kiss was soft. Gentle. It was deep and meaningful, something I'd never felt before. His hands glided down to my neck and massaged my scars carefully. My body tingled with goose bumps and my heart pounded with unconditional love. I didn't want this moment to ever end.

All the pain and agony I felt just moments ago was forgotten completely. I was in another world, a world I never thought could exist for me. Heaven.

Our kiss deepened momentarily and just before Jasper broke it, he moaned ever so slightly into my mouth.

"Sleep with me, Jazz? I mean, just snuggle with me. Sleep. I hate those nightmares. You make them go away. You make me feel safe. Wanted."

Jasper leaned away from me and nodded his head. "Of course, Ali. Absolutely."

We snuggled under the blankets, Jasper wrapped his arms around my body. His head rested against the top of mine and his breath was a soothing white noise. I fell asleep quickly. Peacefully.

…...

**JPOV**

I didn't sleep at all that night. I was too worried about Alice and too wrapped up in my feelings for her.

And now she knew of them. To some extent.

I just lied there as still as possible, with Alice in my arms and listened to her rhythmic breaths, enjoyed the touch of her soft hair and worshiped the feel of her soft body snug against my own.

**APOV**

The sun shone through the window at the head of my bed and it was cold. He was gone. I wanted to curl up in a ball and hide under the blankets forever. I probably scared him away.

Although, _he_ kissed _me_.

I thought briefly about dinner and meeting Edward and I wished over and over in my head that Bella wouldn't despise me, knowing that it was me that most blamed for what had happened to Rosalie - Emmett. Even if Edward did apologize, admitting he couldn't blame me.

Her bed was untouched. She must have stayed with Edward all night.

Not wanting to disappoint Jasper, I showered quickly and headed straight down to the office, taking my seat behind the desk to get started. I sat there for what felt like a good hour and nothing. Not a single phone call or any paperwork to file.

Just as I was about to get up, I heard someone coming down the stairs.

"It's Saturday, silly," Jasper said, handing me a cup of tea.

"Your day off?"

"I try not to work on the weekends if I don't have to. Occasionally I'll have a patient come in if they're having a rough day, but those are few and far between." He stopped, picking up a magazine from the table, "Come on, let's get out of here for awhile."

We'd been walking around the city for awhile early in the afternoon, the traffic got busy and the people on the streets started to get rowdy. It flared my anxiety slightly. Jasper must have been able to tell because after he handed me a hot dog he walked us over to a park bench away from most of the crowded streets.

"Do you think Bella hates me? I mean, with what happened last night? Geez, and what were the odds?"

"Bella doesn't hate you, Alice. I don't think Bella could hate anyone. And I'm sure Edward was just as shocked and surprised as you, when you went upstairs last night he must have apologized for his behavior five times before heading out with Bella." Jasper laid his hand on top of mine, "Ali, none of that, none of this, _none_ of it is your fault. Things will be fine with you, and things will be fine with Bella and Edward. Everything will be okay."

I sighed and bounced my leg as I took another bite of my hotdog. "I hope so, Jasper. These past few days have been amazing and I'm so lucky to have you, have you both. I just don't want to have people butting heads over me. I'm not worth the headache."

"You are most definitely worth it."

We sat quiet for awhile, people watching in the cool Fall air. I never really took much time to just watch people busying around, short and tall, heavy set and thin, beautiful and strange. The diversity was quite remarkable. I enjoyed watching them rush around the streets of the city, some carrying suitcases, some with piles of shopping bags, others with baby strollers, on the phone, and some quiet, with headphones plugged in their ears.

"Were they married, Jazz?"

"Who?"

"Emmett and Rosalie…"

"Engaged," he admitted in a hushed huff. I could tell he didn't want to discuss this right now, not today. We'd been having such a nice time.

I couldn't help but wonder how much Jasper knew about them, but I made sure to keep quiet for now. I hoped there'd be plenty of time in the near future to ask more questions.

"How about we get you some more clothes for work," Jasper suggested after we'd been silently people watching for a bit.

"Are you sure? I mean, I'd love to! I just hate to scrounge off you guys so much."

Jasper's face was blissfully charming. "Ali, we'll work it out. An advance on your first paycheck."

Jasper took me by the hand and pulled me to my feet. We walked a few blocks through the city, him never letting me go until we stopped in front of a New York And Co. Like a true gentlemen, he opened the doors and motion for me to go on ahead inside.

I was looking through a rack of black pants when a woman in a wheelchair approached me and asked if she could help me find anything. She was gorgeous, blonde wavy locks, perfect curvy, slim figure, but her eyes shone with a false sense of joy, though. I briefly wondered what happened and why she was so sad.

"I think I'm all set, but thank you."

I walked away from the woman and headed to the back to find Jasper sitting on a bench by the dressing area. "I think I'm ready!"

"Lead the way, shrimp," Jasper chuckled.

"Hey!" I reached over, pinching his arm, "Butthead!"

We checked out and on the way home something hit my like a bag of bricks, leaving my stomach churning with the feeling of disgust and nausea.

"The woman…Jasper, the woman in that store…"

"What about her? The lady at the check out?"

"No, Jasper. I saw her. She came up and asked if I needed help. You didn't see her? Oh my God."

My heart started racing. Had I just seen the woman I shared a bloody, dark road with? Maybe I was just being delusional. Or maybe I was just going to run into everyone from my short lived past that began on that horrific night. My birthday.

Everything that had been a negative impact in the life that I did remember was going to hunt me down and skewer me whole.


	8. Chapter 8

**A/N- Long time no see! A new job and four kids is hard to do! **

**Big props to the working moms out there! **

**Katy - much love, xoxo.**

**Disclaimer: I own nothing.**

* * *

**JPOV**

I knew there was something particularly familiar about the blond woman in the wheelchair, which is why I'd taken a seat in the back of the store by the dressing rooms. I didn't want to alert Alice if I could help it. She seemed so happy and in her comfort zone shopping for clothes.

I guess Edward hadn't been too far off about Rosalie doing well after all. Years back I knew she'd been paralyzed and pretty much bedridden. But now, out and about, working, smiling even…she looked extremely well and adapted.

Cocking my head slightly at Alice, I asked, "I didn't get a good look at her, you're sure, darlin'?"

**APOV**

"I mean, I can't be sure, sure, Jazz, but she looked so much like the woman in the picture you showed me. Beautiful, but hiding such sadness. It had to be her."

Jasper must have not seen her because of where he was sitting while I was shopping. I was somewhat relieved. It would have put him in an awkward place again, even if it wasn't a noticeable one by either of the two.

My eyes dropped from Jasper as we walked the busy streets of the city and my head fell to the ground. Paying close attention to my steps, I fell silent, thinking about the woman I just saw, the woman that was seated in the wheelchair that my family had caused her to be in.

"I'm sorry, Ali. I really wanted you to be able to relax today."

"No, no, Jasper! It's not your fault, it's okay."

It certainly wasn't Jasper's fault that shit coincidence had me running into everyone from my short-memorable past. It wasn't anyone's fault.

I wondered the rest of the way home what else I could possibly run into from the past few hellish years I had lived, and did Rosalie have any idea who I was? The latter ate at me for the remainder of the car ride. If she knew who I was, how did she keep herself together for our short interaction - how could she _not_ know who I was?

If the roles were reversed, I think one hundred percent of my being would be made of fire, a ball of flames ready to combust at the first sight of the woman who murdered the man I loved.

My thoughts were kindly interrupted when the sound of the quiet music and purr of the new engine haltered as I noticed that we'd pulled into the driveway. _Our_ driveway.

And then I relaxed again, my mind being pulled back to my new reality. The reality of where I now lived. Safe in Jasper's home.

When I looked up from my seat through the windshield, I noticed a strange silver car parked in front of us in the driveway.

"Must be Edward," Jasper said quietly while his shoulders lifted in a slight shrug, "Let's get these bags up to your room."

I quickly followed suit, unbuckling my seat belt and getting out of the car quickly after reaching back to grab the bags. Jasper was a complete gentleman, but I felt the need to occupy myself.

I rushed in the door and headed straight upstairs.

**JPOV**

I knew Alice was at a difficult hurdle. It seemed like everything from the time of her accident was coming alive to haunt her. Almost literally. The entire drive home she was still and quiet and the way she rushed upstairs to her room at the mention of Edward was apparently bothersome.

It was hard to watch such a free spirited, genuinely loving soul be held back with such turmoil and sadness.

I would make sure she'd make it through anything life felt the need to throw at her. Even if it was a life's mission. I'd never give up.

**APOV**

I headed straight for my closet, dropping the bags off at the door and turned Bella's stereo on before hanging up the few new things I'd just purchased. It was obvious I was trying to sneak away from the visitor downstairs; my subconscious wouldn't even let me hide it from myself.

I was uncomfortable being here in this moment.

I tried desperately hard to pay attention to the catchy song on the radio and started dancing around the room, holding one of my new sweaters up against me.

It wasn't long before I could sing along and before I knew it the words were drifting out of my mouth with the beat.

"…I need you to need me…"

_Knock, knock, knock…_

My face fell flush with embarrassment and angst as my eyes fell on Edward's through the crack in the door. _Shit_! I must not have closed it entirely.

Quickly, I dropped the sweater and my arms to my waist and stopped singing before letting out a hushed, "Come in." before I rushed to sit on the edge of my bed. Why was Edward coming up to my room?

I immediately thought about my run in with the woman I could bet money on being his sister earlier. Had she known it was me all along? Probably - _most definitely_.

"Hey, Alice," Edward said, scooting slowly inside of the room, just beyond the doorway, "I'm sorry, I didn't mean to just barge in like this."

"S'okay," I said quietly, looking downwards in his direction wondering if he'd known where I had gone today. I was more certain now than I had been that the woman in the store was indeed Rosalie.

"So…" Edward said, almost as if he wasn't sure where to take this. "I, I guess you bumped into Rosie today?" he finished. His gaze was now shifted and he was glancing out the window, his stare blank.

I wasn't sure what to say. Yes? "Yes," I blurted, a little louder than I was before.

We both sat quiet for what felt like an eternity until I couldn't handle it anymore. "She looks great!"

_Ahh, shit. Filter, Alice!_

"I'm sorry. I mean, I didn't know she was doing so well. I mean…Well, I guess I mean I just hadn't realized she was able to leave her place? Ah, forget it. I'm sorry, Edward."

Edward looked at me now, his face saddened. "No, Alice. It's fine. Rosie is doing extremely well. She's doing so well, she's able to hold a simple job with simple responsibilities. When I had previously mentioned Rose being in a home, I shouldn't have left out the parts where she was only there until the ramp in my house and the bathroom was finished. Suited for her use. When Rosalie woke up after the accident -" Edward paused briefly, judging my reaction of his mentioning the wreck.

I nodded once for him to continue.

"Well, when she woke up, no one had any idea that she'd make the progress that she has, and still continues to do. Everyday as if she conquers a new feat," he said, pausing in thought for a moment. "You do know though, that none of what happened was your fault, right? I mean, it was an _accident_, Alice."

I shrugged, still feeling responsible for the entire ordeal. I knew that accident itself wasn't my fault, but it had been my birthday and the entire reason we'd been out. I was also responsible for the death of someone she would have married one day. I took him away from her, though I wasn't sure why he was who he was – did she even know? I felt responsible for everything that had happened in this woman's life.

**JPOV**

I wanted to run up the stairs ahead of him and stop him in his tracks. Pummel him to the floor and down the stairs before he made it to Ali's bedroom. I wanted to protect her from him, but I knew that he did not intend to hurt her. And I knew that Alice had to face certain things in order to recover fully.

The better, smarter part of me allowed Edward to go upstairs and talk to her. There was a burning sting in my heart as I waited patiently downstairs while Edward was up there with her.

**APOV**

When Edward left my room, I felt an overpowering feeling of exhaustion. I fell back on my bed and let sleep overtake me.

* * *

"This is delicious, Bella!"

She smiled, her face embarrassed. "Thanks, Alice."

Dinner went smoothly, and Bella's glazed ham and green bean casserole were amazing. I couldn't think back to a meal so good. When we had finished cleaning up after dinner, Bella and Edward had left and Jasper asked if I'd like to watch a movie.

I sat on the floor in front of the DVD rack trying to decide what to watch while Jasper made popcorn and root beer floats in the kitchen.

I fingered through the countless DVDs until I decided to close my eyes and pick one at random.

My finger fell on the movie _ELF_ and I pulled it out of it's place and sat it on the coffee table taking my seat on the couch as Jasper walked into the living room, hands full. I stood, taking the bowl of popcorn from his arms while he juggled the floats.

"_ELF_, huh?"

I didn't know what to chose so I closed my eyes and grasped at the shelf," I answered smiling.

"Works for me."

As I sat back down on the couch, popcorn in hand, Jasper put the movie in and settled in next to me. He laid his arm atop the couch and nudged his head for me to snuggle under his arm.

The warmth from his body radiated into me and I could already tell I wouldn't be able to pay much attention to the movie I'd picked to watch.

Jasper's lean fingers gently stroked my shoulder, sending shivers and Goosebumps down my side. His Breath was even, deep - relaxed, lulling me into a state of comfort. I wrapped my feet underneath me and leaned into his hold, feeling safe - protected. I loved it here…just like this, I could stay here in this moment forever.

It wasn't too long before I had to ruin it with words. "What are you thinking?" _Idiot_.

"That this is perfect."

I internally sighed in content, Even if he was taking about something as simple as relaxing in front of the TV.

"It _is_ perfect."

"Alice," Jasper prodded, pausing briefly for my answer.

"Hmm?" I looked up and into his beautiful eyes as his other hand came over to cup my cheek. His hand covered my entire cheek as he began rubbing soothing circles and pushing the loose hairs away and behind my ear. My eyes fell closed and while I inhaled the scent of him, his lips fell on mine for a brief moment.

"Are you happy here…with me," he asked, opening his eyes just a little, "and Bella?"

"Of course, Jazz," I breathed, my eyes falling shut again as I leaned in for more.

Instead of feeling his lips meeting mine again, I felt his finger and my eyes shot open in disappointment.

"I'm glad." He smiled small and deviously, his finger falling downward and his face inching closer to mine.

When his lips met mine again, there was a strong, new feeling. A feeling of want and desire. A feeling so strong it shot all the way to the tips of my toes, ends of my fingers, and through each beat of my pounding heart.

I wasn't sure how to handle such emotion and I pulled back a bit, regretting it instantly the moment Jasper stopped.

"I'm sorry, Ali. I wasn't thinking."

"No, Jasper," I said, leaning forward, letting him know it was okay. "This is all just new. Foreign." Bringing my hands to the back of his head, I held on firmly and placed my lips to his neck, "This,' I said after a small kiss, "is all," I let my tongue meet his skin, "perfect."

Jasper's arms were roaming my back now, his fingers stalling to linger on the seam of my shirt. Each time they'd pass, I felt my back slightly arch with need and desire. I didn't want this, whatever it was, to end. Ever.

Jasper's body now led in towards mine before our chests touched. He was warm, lean and muscular, but had a touch of softness about him. My entire body was sucking up his touch, smell, and desire.

I could feel now what I'd wanted to feel for months. My feelings toward him matched. No one was playing games, emotions weren't being played with. It was all an open deck of cards now.

Things slowed down a bit and between kisses, back strokes and body strong body embraces we'd catch a few moments of the movie. Not that either of us had paid much attention to it, we still took things slow. I certainly didn't want to ruin anything with my boisterous demeanor.

I could see myself creeping people out, or them thinking I was some basket case with my upbeat personality, though I wasn't sure Jasper would be scared off. I was certain he knew the kind of person I was and wouldn't abandon me.

I felt like we fit like two pieces of a puzzle. His laid-back attitude with his soft-spoken voice seemed to fit right in with my peppy, bouncy-ness and loud, hyperactive self. Oddly enough, I wasn't about to question why.

I was perfectly happy and content where I was and I could not have asked for two better angels to swoop in and help me. Make me feel like I was worth something, and not to judge me for what I was, or what I'd done.

And for the first time, I felt like I belong and fit. Like I was supposed to be where I was right in the moment. I felt like everything that had happened to me and everything that was done was to lead me into this place I was at right now. Right here.

With this amazing family. And even though I'd only been here for a short time, I hoped that I'd be able to call their family my own.

"You're getting tired, Ali. Let me bring you to bed. Please?

I didn't fight him, and within seconds, he'd lifted me up and carried me upstairs to my bedroom, placing me under my blankets and tucking me in snuggly. His eyes never leaving my own.

I had a wonderful night, sweet dreams, darlin'," he said, stroking my hair softly.

"Me too, Jazz. Me too."

Jasper continued running his fingers through my hair until my eyes grew too heavy to hold open any longer.

"I love you."

* * *

**A/N- Ooooh, but who said it? **

**Who confessed their love? **

**Haha. I'm a dork.**


	9. Chapter 9

**A/N- Cheers to Katy, the best girl evah!**

**I quit the job. Boo**

**Disclaimer: not mine.**

**APOV**

I woke early the next morning feeling wonderful; I'd been getting an enormous amount of sleep since being here. The previous night could not have been any better if I had planned it myself.

The house was quiet and still pretty dark, the sun still hidden low in the sky behind the trees. I sat up, glancing out the window, smiling to myself and thinking about last night. I didn't even take notice to the small amount of white powder covering the grass for a few moments. The first snow of the season.

The end of our conversation rang through my ears as if it was fresh, spoken only moments ago.

For the first time that I could remember, someone told me that they loved me - and it felt really, really great. _Jasper _loved me even.

My eyes lit up as I watched two squirrels running for cover in the trees. Small, tiny snowflakes fluttering in the soft breeze fell to the ground as I concentrated on what Jasper had told me last night.

I stretched my arms over my head and let my body wake up as I glanced over to Bella's empty bed. She must have stayed at Edward's last night; her bed hadn't been slept in.

I rose to my feet and tiptoed downstairs, snuggling up on the couch and managed turning the TV on and finding the news, still giddy over the previous night.

The thought over a wonderful man caring for me, for once, was absolutely wonderful. My heart swelled, the tips of my toes and fingers tingled, and the smile on my face still hadn't fallen.

I heard Jasper walking upstairs in the hallway, down the stairs and felt him stop, rather than saw him, in the living room.

"Good morning, Ali," he said, the sleep still in his voice.

I glanced in his direction still smiling. "Morning!" My voice chipper as always. I slightly rolled my eyes at myself.

"Coffee?"

"Sure, but let me make it. Are you hungry? I'd love to make you something to eat. You've been so great, let me do something nice for you."

Jasper looked at me quizzically, like I had no idea how to fry an egg or toast a piece of bread.

"No worries, I won't burn the house down," I joked, skipping off into the kitchen and found myself already in the fridge, pulling out everything I'd need.

I started the coffee before frying up some bacon and eggs, humming something unfamiliar and made up. I placed the food on the plates and set them on the table before pouring our coffee and calling Jasper into the kitchen.

I set the coffee mugs in place before Jasper made it to the table and squeezed my hands together, feeling like I'd accomplished something fantastic - even though it was just…well, breakfast.

"I didn't realize you were such a great cook."

Shushing my giggle, I placed my fork down on my plate. "It's just some bacon and eggs, Jazz. Nothing fancy; I'm certainly no Bella," I finished before getting up to clear the table.

"Please," Jasper said, placing his hand over mine, "allow me."

Opting to help him anyway, I nodded and continued to grab my dishes and place them in the sink.

The morning went nicely - quiet, relaxed. Jasper headed upstairs for a shower and I thought it would be nice to take a walk around the neighborhood. As I was leaving, Bella was pulling up in the driveway, just getting home from her night out.

"Hey, Bella!"

"Hi. Where are you going?" she asked, looking as though she was puzzled I was leaving the house myself.

"I thought I'd go for a walk." I smiled.

Bella nodded. "I'll see you soon, then?

Lifting myself on my toes, I answered, "Of course!" Overly obnoxious.

The air was chilly, but the sun was shining bright. The neighborhood was nice, peaceful, and familiar. Though, I'd never been here, there was just something about it that made it feel recognizable.

The houses weren't spaced extremely far apart, but they weren't congested either. The yards were luscious and green. Trees separated some of the houses, the leaves gold and red, some almost bare.

I started to think about my life before the accident before long. Where I'd grown up, what kind of house I lived in, _my_ neighborhood. Had it been as nice as this? Did we have families around us, little kids jumping in the freshly fallen autumn leaves?

I realized just how badly I wanted to remember my life before the ugly began rearing its head in.

When I came out of the cul-de-sac and found myself on a main road, I made my way back, following my tracks back to the house, walking in and heading straight downstairs to Jasper's office, powering up his computer.

I hadn't ever remembered using a computer before, but did my best to type in my name and birthday in the search bar, rendering a decent amount of results. One particular link stuck out:

_-Alice Brandon, 19, Survives Horrific 2 Vehicle Crash-_

_Police officials reported a head-on vehicle collision resulted in the death of two. According to the investigating team, a stray dog had wondered into the road, resulting in the head-on collision. _

_The vehicle caught on fire after the impact, throwing nineteen-year-old Brandon out of the car with her parents, Kevin and Susan Brandon, trapped inside. Police were able to pull the 2 out of the car, pronouncing them dead at the scene._

_The driver of the other vehicle, twenty-two-year-old Rosalie Cullen, had also been ejected from her car, injuries critical. Her passenger, twenty-three-year-old Emmett McCarty, was listed in fair, but stable condition._

It was all I had to finish the article. That had been the first I'd read about the accident, the first time I'd seen anything real about it.

The knot in my throat felt like it was blocking my airway and my stomach had dropped to my toes. Small goose bumps covered my arms and I could feel a warm dampness on my cheeks. The tears had silently fell as I closed out the page.

I gave myself a few minutes, allowing myself to regroup before I headed back upstairs. I didn't want Bella or Jasper to see me upset, not wanting them to know what I'd been reading.

When I walked into the kitchen, both Jasper and Bella looked like mum was the word. They looked away from each other quickly after noticing my appearance and started busing themselves with nothing.

Jasper was standing up at the table, playing with his cell phone, as if he were checking it for missed calls. Bella had a newspaper in front of her, her face annoyed.

"What's the matter?" I asked, feeling uncomfortable.

Bella looked at me with falsely questioning eyes. "Nothing's wrong, did you enjoy your walk?"

"It was nice. Please tell me," I said, wanting to get the elephant out of the room. I wondered if I had done something wrong.

Jasper laid his phone on the table and looked up at me with pained eyes. "Nothing's wrong, Ali. Nothing you need to worry about."

I sighed. I felt a slight prick of annoyance at his white lie. I knew something was going on because of how the both of them were acting.

"I wish you wouldn't lie to me." Turning quickly, I headed for my room.

I really had no idea what they would be keeping from me and before I was even able to open my closet doors to play mindlessly with something to wear after a shower, when I realized someone was knocking on the frame of the door.

It was Jasper. "Alice?"

I turned from the closet to see him leaning against the frame, tall, lean and looking super handsome. I'd still been slightly annoyed by the brush off downstairs, but couldn't help smiling. "Yeah?"

He'd changed from his sweatpants and T-shirt he was wearing this morning to a fresh, dark grey long-sleeve top and a pair of dark-wash denim. His hair was still damp and he didn't have anything but socks on his feet.

I shook myself out of my thoughts of how incredibly warm and inviting he looked and back to our conversation.

"I'm not breakable, Jazz."

And I wasn't. Barely meeting five feet and a hundred pounds, I managed to survive a crazed mentally, emotionally, and physically abusive man, along with many others I dealt with on a normal night. I survived a heck of a lot. I could certainly manage to survive whatever it was that had Jasper and Bella so hush-hush downstairs.

"I know," he sighed, "can I come and sit?"

He waited for my answer.

"Of course."

Jasper walked in and sat down on Bella's bed, took a deep breath and looked out the window.

"Bella would like to have Edward over for Thanksgiving."

"Of course she would," I said trying to understand. "I don't see the problem."

I didn't understand why Edward would be an issue, but before I could think about it further, he spoke again.

"Edward would like to bring Rosalie."

My face fell flush and I could feel the lump in my throat rise again." Oh, well…" I stammered.

"It's fine, Alice. I totally understand."

"No, no, I guess I just wasn't thinking about the possibility that I'd so up close and personal with Rosalie so soon. It's definitely okay, Jasper. It is Edward's sister and of course he'd like to be with her on Thanksgiving."

It was inevitable. At some point I knew I was going to have to come face to face with Rosalie, as me, Alice Brandon - the woman in the accident that survived with next to no real life-changing injuries. Ultimately, the woman that killed her lover.

"You don't have to do this, Ali," Jasper said, concern filling his sweet voice.

I took in a shallow breath that caught in my throat. Ignoring the feeling of overpowering worry I said, "I think I do." And I did. I wanted to even…to some extent.

A bigger part of me didn't want to, I couldn't lie to myself about that. Meeting the woman that I shared a bloody, dark road with, a woman that loved a man that I hated with a passion, a woman that would most likely never walk again because of me and my birthday dinner would be difficult.

It would have to be done though. At some point.

I couldn't think of a better time. Sure, it didn't give me a hell of a lot of time to prepare - mentally or emotionally, but would there ever be enough time? I didn't think so.

Jasper had no idea what to say, I could read it all over his face.

"Okay, Alice, but if things get to be too much, you'll let me know?"

"I'll let you know," I answered immediately, opening my closet door, fishing for something to wear.

I pulled out a pair of leggings with an oversized sweater as Jasper excused himself from my room and laid them out on the bed, deciding I had no shoes to pair the outfit with. I frowned to myself.

I really hated living off Jasper and Bella, and it wasn't too much longer that the thought of a job outside of the home wouldn't be such a bad idea.

"What about that store over there?" I asked Bella, pointing to a small corner boutique set back in the small west wing of the mall.

Bella smiled and nodded, leading us both to the boutique that read _THREADS_ and we headed inside.

It was small and cornered between a Radio Shack and a large vacant store. The smell was of dust bunnies, similar to Emmett's living room, but didn't have that same dingy, dirty smell.

Sunglasses lined the counter and behind the older woman headbands, bangles, and scarves hung on the walls.

The woman wasn't too tall, heavy set and had the worst red hair I'd ever seen. Her glasses were too thick and she desperately needed a personal shopper. Her floral shirt didn't belong in the cute little boutique she worked in and her black slacks were much too short - even for me.

"Afternoon," the woman greeted.

"Hi, I was wondering if you happened to be looking for help?"

I smiled politely and silently begged there wasn't any particular questions. Verbal or otherwise.

"Actually…" she paused, seeming to silently question me.

"Alice?"

"Ah, actually, Alice, I'm looking to hire someone for evening hours. I'm starting to wear myself out." Her laugh was somewhat annoying and very false.

"Really? That would fantastic!"

"You can come in Wednesday, say around four?"

"Absolutely…" I was silently questioning _her_ now.

"Mrs. Cope, dear."

I nodded my head. "Absolutely, Mrs. Cope."

The phone rang and Mrs. Cope waved me off, smiling, while answering the phone.

I shrugged as we walked back out into the mall. "That wasn't so hard."

"I'm still not quite sure you are so insistent on getting another job, Alice. You are working for Jasper."

"It'll get me out. Not that the both of you aren't great, because you are, but I'll get to meet other people as well. You know?"

Mrs. Cope had given me two days to prepare for my new, quickly thought out retail job, though I couldn't imagine it being too difficult. People would come in, buy a couple items, pay, smile, and leave. Or so I guessed. Nothing difficult about that process, right?

"Are you hungry, Al?" Bella asked as we were nearing the food court, her head leaning towards the small Burger King in the corner.

I scrunched my nose and noticed a Dairy Queen directly across the way. My eyes went back to Bella's and her fragile head shook as she pulled at my arm leading us over to the ice cream.

"I'll have a Reese's blizzard, what would you like, Alice?" she asked me while paying close attention to her purse, trying to catch a hold of her wallet. "I'll have the same, please. But could you use chocolate ice-cream?"

"Sure thing," the young boy said.

Bella and I sat down on a bench with out treats and before she even stuck her spoon into hers she looked up at me concerned. "You know Al, it's okay for you not to be so super strong like, Edward and I can go have Thanksgiving with Rose at her place. That would be okay, you know."

I took in a deep breath and then ate some of my Blizzard. I swirled it around in my mouth, making sure not to choke on any of the candy pieces before swallowing. "Bella, I think it is really important for Rosalie to be there. I also thing it's important for me to meet her. There is so much I'd like to say to her, so much."

Bella just nodded and ate her ice-cream.

We sat quietly the rest of the time while we finished, then headed home.

I was eager to tell Jasper about finding myself another job. I felt like I was finally becoming a contributing member of society. I walked into the living room and noticed him immediately. Sitting so statuesque on the couch, his right leg crossed over his left while he read a newspaper.

I danced over toward him, hands clasped, begging my body not to explode like an excited five-year-old. But that didn't last long. "I got another job, Jazz!"

He peeked up at me through his long lashes and smirked. "You didn't need another job, silly, but that's really wonderful. I can tell you're excited, I'm very happy for you, love."

I know it was just a natural term of endearment, but the word coming out of his mouth and flowing into my ears like silken liquid was hypnotizing.

"It's just at a small store in the mall, evenings, but I think it'll be great," I said, a bit too hyped up as I bounced down on the couch beside him.

His paper came down on his lap as he reached his left arm over my shoulders, squeezing me gently into his side before placing a gentle, tender kiss on the top of my head. "Congratulations, Ali. I love that you are happy. You deserve nothing less."

I turned my head in his direction and stared directly into his sparkling blue eyes. "I _am_ happy."

Our heads were slowly approaching each other's as Bella walked in from the kitchen, our lips merely centimeters from meeting. Jasper ignored her completely, his lips crashed into mine with forceful desire. The soft, supple caresses turned my heart into fire and my toes into mush.

"Ahem, you two…Dinner? What would you like?" Bella asked with a little volume added to her usual quiet spoken voice.

Jasper continued kissing me for a moment longer before barely releasing from my warmth. "Cereal's fine, Bella." His lips then fell back onto my own once again.

If I was listening, I probably would have heard a tick of annoyance from her. I couldn't imagine Bella being okay with serving boxed cereal for dinner.

It wasn't more than twenty minutes later that she was announcing dinner. Jasper and I looked at each other questioningly before rising to our feet and walking into the dining room.

I found Bella and made eye contact before giggling and smiling. In front of tree chairs there was a bowl of oatmeal, two pieces of toast, and an array of sliced fruits. Cereal it was!.

"Wow, Bella.. Corn flakes would have worked just as well."

"Yeah whatever, Jasper. You know my kitchen and I. Eat."


End file.
